Marvelous Kiddo

stephen colbert with maurice sendak

2012-01-27T09:58:00.011-05:00

Oh my GOODNESS, this two-part interview with Maurice Sendak on The Colbert Report this week absolutely slayed me. The genius of these two together is just beyond. A combination so wrong that is is somehow deliciously, hilariously right.

a quote for your thursday

2012-01-26T10:55:00.003-05:00

“Do not grow old, no matter how long you live.

Never cease to stand like curious children

before the Great Mystery into which we were born.”

- Albert Einstein

Quote found here

Image found here

day on breastfeeding

2012-01-25T09:45:00.003-05:00

Woman in white cape, breastfeeding a baby

(Beatrice Baxter Ruyl feeding Ruth Ruyl), 1905.

By F. Holland Day.

The Louise Imogen Guiney Collection, Library of Congress, Prints & Photographs Division.

baby sleep positions

2012-01-24T12:21:00.002-05:00

We love co-sleeping, and are looking forward to bedsharing as a family of five (!!!) but I would be lying if I said I didn't get a chuckle out of this series of illustrations posted over at How To Be A Dad. If you've ever gotten a foot in the face in the middle of the night, or wondered if you would ever sleep cuddled up to your partner again, you have to click over and read the hilarious descriptions of "The Stalker", "The Neck Scarf", "Booby Trap", and "H is for Hell" for yourself.

PS: On a more serious note, here's what the Directors of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame have to say about cosleeping and bedsharing.

kilim boots

2012-01-24T10:18:00.004-05:00

How fabulous are these boots handmade with vintage Kilims?

I seriously covet them.

Birth Story of the Week: In the Front Seat of a Ford Focus

2012-01-23T16:05:00.004-05:00

Clocking in at less than a minute of footage, this is one of the shortest, yet one of the most powerful birth videos I've ever posted! Amazing.

PS: Have I really neglected this series since the end of October??? I have to get back into it...I miss the stories!

snow in suburbia

2012-01-21T11:55:00.002-05:00

Our first snow since having our own yard! So far, so fun ;)

birth mix

2012-01-19T11:33:00.004-05:00

I've started to think about compiling my birth playlist for the impending arrival of baby #3!

So far, tunes on my mind include (in no particular order according to mood or vibe or genre):

Under Pressure

Something's Got a Hold on Me

Got to Get You Into My Life

Give it up or Turn it Loose

Love is the Seventh Wave

All is Love

I Concentrate on You

What songs buoy you in labor? I would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and stories of how you used music in childbirth! Check out this awesome radio broadcast on the topic ;)

gauguin on breastfeeding

2012-01-18T01:03:00.003-05:00

The Offering, Paul Gauguin, circa 1902

Oil on canvas, 68 x 78 cm

Buhrle Collection, Zurich, Switzerland

Another of my favorite depictions of breastfeeding by Gauguin, here.

forget feminist ryan gosling

2012-01-17T14:53:00.002-05:00

OMG, Porn for Pregnant Ladies has me DYING. So funny. Read them all, over at the brilliant Pregnant Chicken.

DIY love

2012-01-17T11:36:00.001-05:00

Honestly...WTF always posts the best DIY projects. I am in love with these easy-peasy braided bead bracelets. Aren't they so great?

easy vegetarian recipes

2012-01-17T10:31:00.002-05:00

Last week I ran across a yummy-looking collection of vegetarian recipes and so far I've tried out these two with great success: Rigatoni with Goat Cheese and Layered Eggplant and Polenta Casserole. They were both easy, hearty, and delicious -- and the casserole even had my eggplant-averse husband going for seconds! Mmmmmmm. Have you tried any new recipes lately?

abNORMALLY NURSING

2012-01-13T09:41:00.006-05:00

I can't wait to visit the Museum of Motherhood to check out the work of Lauren Cockerham-Colas. The current exhibit, abNORMALLY NURSING, features photos and research from Cockerham-Colas' masters project and is an exploration of breastfeeding beyond the first year.

From the exhibit introduction:

“…For over 99% of our existence as a species, all human infants have received their main nutrition via breastfeeding; however, today consuming the milk of a species other than our own has become commonplace. Because all mammalian milk is species specific, this practice may have significant individual and public health implications. Indeed, it has been established that children under one year benefit significantly when they are fed human milk (for example, breastfed infants have a reduced risk of ear infections, respiratory infections, and certain types of cancer when compared with formula fed infants). Though there is wide acceptance in the United States that human milk is superior during infancy, little scrutiny has been given to the forgoing of human milk beyond the first year of life. It is worth examining, however, the current attitudes of our society, the existing evidence, and the potential public health implications of breastfeeding beyond the first year… “

The exhibit was developed to educate healthcare professionals on the benefits of "extended" breastfeeding. Over the course of approximately a year’s time, Cockerham-Colas photographed more than 50 nursing families across five different states. The work was used as a research tool to evaluate and influence the knowledge and attitudes of healthcare professionals towards extended breastfeeding. Very recently, the results of the research (which showed an increase in positive attitudes towards extended breastfeeding among healthcare professionals after viewing the photos and information) were published within the peer reviewed scientific journal, Breastfeeding Medicine.

I had the pleasure of getting to know Lauren as she compiled photos and data for the project, and I feel so honored to be included amongst these images of mothers nursing their older babies and children (here are a few more photos from our visits that I posted a while back). I love that Lauren has found a way to combine her artistic talent with her passion and curiosity about breastfeeding and is finding ways to increase social acceptance of a biologically normal and beneficial phenomenon that is often misunderstood or under-appreciated (and considered abnormal) in our culture. Hooray for education about breastfeeding into toddlerhood and beyond!

Lauren’s exhibit is up in the Museum of Motherhood during the month of January, 2012.

rosenthal on breastfeeding

2012-01-11T07:49:00.001-05:00

Mother and Child, 1904, Janis Rosenthal. Latvian (1866 - 1916)

rothko cookies

2012-01-10T10:10:00.004-05:00

These Rothko cookies made my day.

Created by Mimi O Chun. Via Aesthetics of Joy.

willow dens

2012-01-09T09:40:00.004-05:00

Over the weekend I started searching online for backyard play space inspiration. Now that we have a spacious, grassy area all our own I really want to build a playhouse or swing set or some other sort of fun area for the kids to enjoy once the weather gets warm.

During the course of my ramblings, I came across the idea of the willow den, which seems to be fairly common type of structure in the UK. I was totally enchanted by these images -- I love that willow dens are completely natural and easy to build (here's a great tutorial on how to make your own)!

How magical, right? Have you ever seen/made/played in a willow den?

Image credits, top to bottom: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

in honor of the birth of beyonce's daughter...

2012-01-08T08:11:00.003-05:00

I heard that Beyonce and Jay-Z had their baby last night! In their honor -- and in the hope that they babywear -- here's a little blast from the past ;) Thanks for the inspiration, Beyonce!

Originally created for the Sakura Bloom Triathlon.

family pic

2012-01-06T14:50:00.002-05:00

Just thought I'd share ;)

PS: I un-decorated the tree today, and felt a little sad doing so! I'm curious, how long do you leave your holiday decorations up?

bump style

2012-01-06T00:27:00.003-05:00

I am love love loving the sporty-casual flavor of these two mamas! I mean, how cute can you BE???

Top image, The Fashion Guitar

Bottom image, via Veronica Loves Archie

a quote for your new year

2012-01-01T22:47:00.001-05:00

Hear, hear! Via As Happy As Kings.

remake project

2011-12-30T07:43:00.003-05:00

I am completely charmed and amazed by the submissions to Booooooom.com's Remake/Photo Project, which asked entrants to remake famous works of art, using photography. Have you seen them?

Here are some of my favorites, but please be sure to visit the official site to see many many more of your favorite works of art re-imagined in new and entertaining ways. So fun, right?

bump news, week 31

2011-12-29T20:32:00.004-05:00

A bump update is long overdue!

Baby continues to grow, while treating me to stronger and more emphatic kicks and wiggles. He/She seems to have more or less settled into a head down position (yay!) and is noticeably hiccuping all the time, which always makes me smile.

I feel pretty great, considering my rapidly increasing girth, and have enjoyed treating myself to some wardrobe additions in order to get through the 3rd-trimester in some semblance of comfort and style ;)

A favorite new piece is this Anthropologie sweater I got the day after Christmas on clearance. So soft and cozy, and completely belly-friendly. I've worn for the last three days in a row.

Perhaps you remember this Dinna Soliman dress from my last pregnancy? I wore it here and here.

Boots are from Zara, several seasons ago...belt from H&M.

And of course my favorite red lippy, Ruby Woo, by MAC.

Now that things are settling down from the move/holidays I'll be back with another update soon!

XOXO, Leigh

PS: FYI, see how we've grown...week 23, and week 21

sponsor marvelous kiddo in 2012!

2011-12-29T11:56:00.005-05:00

Would you like to join the exciting group of Sponsors advertising on Marvelous Kiddo?

There's still some space available in January,

so email me if you're interested.

My rates are extremely affordable, and my audience continues to grow

(there have been over 97,000 page views so far this month!)

If you want to share your amazing product, shop, blog, or service with my lovely readers, please let me know. I look forward to working with you!

Thanks,

Leigh

3 great gifts

2011-12-27T16:45:00.002-05:00

My mom totally made my Christmas by gifting me stacks and stacks of her old back issues of Mothering Magazine, Growing Without Schooling (including the very first issue!), and The Birth Gazette. I can't wait to pour through every one of them and share what goodies I find :)

fouquet on breastfeeding

2011-12-24T11:43:00.003-05:00

Madonna Surrounded by Seraphim and Cherubim,

by Jean Fouquet (1420–1480)

Circa 1452, oil on oak

Height: 94.5 cm Width: 85.5 cm Depth: 1.2 cm

Royal Museum of Fine Arts, Antwerp

happy christmas eve

2011-12-24T11:33:00.005-05:00

Sending wishes for tons of love and joy this holiday!

XOXO,

Leigh

PJ's courtesy of Polarn O. Pyret

van der weyden on breastfeeding

2011-12-23T19:18:00.005-05:00

Virgin and Child Enthroned, Rogier van der Weyden

Circa 1433

Oil on panel. 15.8 x 11.4 cm

Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza, Madrid

boltraffio on breastfeeding

2011-12-22T13:51:00.002-05:00

The Virgin and Child, Giovanni Antonio Boltraffio

Probably circa about 1493-9

The National Gallery, London

flemish school circa 1600 on breastfeeding

2011-12-21T20:39:00.003-05:00

Virgo Lactans, Flemish school. Circa 1600.

Oil on copper. Ebony frame with cherubs and silver.

29.5 x 22.5 cm.

tree trimming

2011-12-20T20:38:00.004-05:00

I've fallen off the December Photo Project wagon in a big way, having let nine whole days pass without uploading any pics! We've just been so busy decorating and baking and shopping and readying the house for holiday festivities (lots of family will be arriving from out of town in the next couple of days to stay with us through early January) that I haven't given any attention to things internet-y. I wasn't planning the blog break, but I have to admit, it was kind of nice ;)

Over the weekend, we had a bunch of friends drop by, some of whom even stayed over for the night, and so I took advantage of the extra hands and house full of cheer, and enlisted those who were willing in the task of trimming the tree. We had so much fun sitting around the dining room table stringing popcorn garlands, painting glitter on sugar cookie ornaments, and otherwise bedazzling things. Laurel took charge of making beautiful translucent orbs (or as she called them, "little glowy fruit gems") for the tree by dehydrating slices of orange in a low-temp oven, and I was thrilled with the result. After all our work, I thought you would enjoy seeing the finished product. Thus, a tour of our tree:

coveting

2011-12-15T10:25:00.003-05:00

These gorgeous stacking blocks from Fort Standard.

More for me than the kids.

amazing birth photographs

2011-12-15T09:27:00.007-05:00

These are just a few of the breathtaking birth photos currently viewable in the National Geographic Photo Contest 2011.

To read more about the photos shown above, click the links:

"Pure Utter Joy" by Jane McCrae

"Between Two Worlds" by Tara Garner

"I Love You Baby" by Lynsey Stone

Some more of my favorite entries are here, here, and here.

Via Jodi @ Che and Fidel and my sis-in-law, Maddie. Thanks ladies!

Van Den Hengel on Breastfeeding

2011-12-14T09:57:00.002-05:00

Moeder in Kind (1997), Laura Van Den Hengel

decorating ideas

2011-12-13T10:44:00.005-05:00

Last night we got our first-ever actual (non-Charlie-brown-sized!) Christmas tree. At over 7 feet tall, we have a lot of decorating to do! The kids are finally getting old enough to enjoy doing crafty things, so I popped around to some of my favorite sites this morning to get some inspiration for making our own ornaments. Here are some of the goodies I love the best:

Salt dough ornaments via Filth Wizardry.

Pompom Snowman and Pipe Cleaner Snowflakes via Martha Stewart

Super-Simple Paper Stars via Annekata

Felt Ball Garland via Oh Happy Day

Origami Hanging Decorations via Mini-Eco

What is your favorite holiday DIY?

Leave a comment with a link if you know of a great tutorial!

monday giveaway

2011-12-12T14:45:00.004-05:00

I have a really special and fun giveaway to present today, courtesy of The Style Mentors!

The Style Mentors provide a unique online stylist service, equipped to mentor you and your whole family to attain the style you desire. The stylists are a group of lifestyle fashion bloggers - all with impeccable and unique personal style. These ladies have first-hand experience with dressing themselves and their families in many different life stages. Meet The Mentors, to learn more about their individual style.

The Style Mentors are similar to that friend you go to for style advice when your frustrated with your clothes, stuck in a style rut or just need someone else to do the work of putting your outfit together. They mentor everyday women and their families out of the frustrating style rut.

The winner of this giveaway will be able to choose between the One Outfit package and the Style My Closet package. Read all the details here, and leave a comment on this post saying which one you would choose!

Comments will be open until Friday, December 16th at 11:59 pm. A winner will be chosen at random over the weekend and announced next week. Good luck!

UPDATE: Congratulations to Muddling Along Mummy, the winner of this giveaway!

backyard bill on families

2011-12-12T09:10:00.002-05:00

I love this new series of family portraits by one of my favorite street-style photographers, Backyard Bill.

yesterday's photo

2011-12-11T13:17:00.003-05:00

I was swooning over the decorations on this tree at the AMNH when we visited yesterday...an origami menagerie! I think my favorite touch was the veritable galaxy of paper stars encircling the tree, suspended from wire mobiles. Magical.

Here's an official video from the museum, telling more about the tree:

butterfly pasta with kale

2011-12-09T16:31:00.004-05:00

Since moving in to our new house there has been a huge shift towards home cooked meals. I'll admit it, in NYC we were hooked on delivery, take out, and eating out. Even though I love to cook, I was worried that preparing three meals a day, every day, would overwhelm me, but I haven't been doing so badly! Having a car is helpful for stocking up on groceries, so I can shop on the weekend and actually have enough ingredients on hand to get me through the week. I have prepared a lot of old favorites, and have also had fun trying out new recipes.

One of the biggest hits, which was also one of the easiest things to prepare, was this Butterfly Pasta With Kale, from The Family Dinner (which I picked up on sale the other day at Anthropologie). The only adaptation I made was using canned whole tomatoes (chopped) instead of sundried tomatoes. It was delicious!

friday giveaway

2011-12-09T14:43:00.005-05:00

Who Was Born at Home? is a fantastic new children's book written by a good friend of mine, Corie Feiner, who has offered to send a copy to the winner of this giveaway!

Inspired by her own experience as a home birth mama, and drawing on her skills as a poet and advocate, Who Was Born at Home? takes readers on a delightful and educational tour through history to meet many of the iconic and influential people who were born at home. Along the way, the charming illustrations by George Sandidge show us renderings of the homes that Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Amelia Earhart, (to name just a few) were born in. Woven into this enlightening look into the past is the story of Corie's own home birth, adding a heartfelt and personal twist to an already touching book.

For a chance to win a copy of Who Was Born at Home? please watch the book trailer and leave a comment on this post by Sunday, December 11 at 11:59 pm. I'll announce the winner next week. Good luck!

UPDATE: The winner of this giveaway is Bethany Reine'! Congrats, and thanks to all who entered and left such lovely comments :)

morning goodbye

2011-12-08T09:05:00.003-05:00

Every morning when Taro leaves for work, the boys have a tradition of seeing him off with kisses and hugs before jumping up and down wildly and shouting "LOVE YOU!" until he's out of sight. It's super-sweet.

When we lived in our apartment the ritual was no less epic, but instead of walking for a couple of blocks to the bus stop before disappearing from sight, Taro would be gone as soon as the elevator arrived. To compensate for the speediness of his departure, he would always get on an empty elevator and then shout "LOVE YOU" back at us all the way down, six stories.

One morning during the usual ruckus, one of our neighbors appeared in the hallway. I thought she was going to grumpily ask us us to knock it off, but instead she said,

"You have to get this on videotape."

So, for a few weeks I documented the daily goodbyes and compiled them into a little movie. May it brighten your day:

Kurland on Breastfeeding

2011-12-07T08:43:00.002-05:00

Sea Stack, Justine Kurland, 2006

C-print

30 x 40 inches

See more gorgeous images from this series, here and here.

Read more about the artist and her work, here.

midweek links

2011-12-07T00:08:00.002-05:00

It's been SOOOO long since I posted anything but personal photos and ramblings! Meanwhile, I have about a gajillion tabs up on my laptop, reminders of interesting reads and links. Time to share:

Research shows that babies' cells may linger in the bodies of their mothers for decades, perhaps even providing protection from disease.

I love these geometric-print bags.

When an adult took standardized tests forced on kids.

The Great Necklace Exchange looks like fun!

This blog is oddly fascinating, if a tiny bit sad -- I found myself clicking back through the archives, amazed by the celebrity pairings I never knew about.

A treehouse grows in Brooklyn. Awesomesauce.

Great idea for removing this word from my vocabulary.

Abbey's "Just Because" gift guide is so seriously rockin'.

The Problem With Nursing Covers.

Knuckle tattoo gloves. Want!

What have you been reading/digging/surfing lately? Leave a comment with your suggestions!

Photo, Marie Claire Maison

konked

2011-12-05T22:07:00.000-05:00

cathedral

2011-12-04T20:51:00.002-05:00

We attended a birthday party today, across the street and down the block from the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine. Such an amazing structure. Did you know that it is tied for fourth largest Christian church in the world? Right at the intersection of 111th and Amsterdam.

While we were there, I was reminded of an earlier visit.

orange amaryllis

2011-12-03T09:55:00.003-05:00

One week ago today was my birthday, and it was so fun to celebrate in our new home. Abbey and Joanna and their families surprised me by coming over, and it was so fun to feel the house filled with the sounds of kiddos frolicking and friends laughing, while our husbands played frisbee in the yard! It was a taste of wonderful gatherings to come, and such an encouragement on the week we moved, knowing that even though we don't live in NYC anymore we're still not so very far away from those we love there.

Abbey brought me this beautiful orange amaryllis. Isn't it spectacular?

shoe closet

2011-12-02T22:29:00.006-05:00

My favorite unpacking/organizing project of the day: stocking my shoe closet! I am going through a weird and wonderful kind of shock to have all this space. I think I might be falling in love with you, suburbia.

tumbln

2011-12-02T09:13:00.004-05:00

Have you stopped by my Tumblr, The Bean and The Bear, lately? Oftentimes, when I happen upon some wonderful bits of beauty and inspiration they land there.

Do you have a Tumblr blog? Leave a comment here with the address, and I'll check it out ;)

well hello there, december!

2011-12-01T23:20:00.004-05:00

I absolutely cannot believe that it is December already. The days (ok, weeks, months, years, those too!) are flying by. For the last few years Rebecca has invited me to participate in the December Photo Project and I always find that it helps me to calm down, breathe, observe, and reflect, during what is always one of the most intense months. It comes at the perfect time for me now, since I need to be reminded to stop and capture so many of the fleeting, gorgeous moments that are happening every day as we begin to make our new home. So, thanks, Rebecca!

This photo was snapped on my phone tonight. We were eating at our favorite Japanese restaurant in NYC. I think you can see how seriously the kiddos take their tofu.

Check out past years of photos I have taken for the DPP.

Matching striped tops (the guys live in these!) courtesy of Polarn O. Pyret.

unpacking

2011-11-27T15:16:00.005-05:00

We are buried in boxes and overcome with happiness in our new home. I'll be back to regular updates soon! Thank you so much for all the sweet comments and good vibes as we make this big transition.

Hoping you are all enjoying wonderful, blessed days as November winds down. XOXO.

bye, NYC

2011-11-22T00:41:00.004-05:00

Bye, NYC.

You've been so good to us!

We love you forever!!!

XOXO,

Leigh, Taro, and the Kiddos

PS: Remember all the fun we've had?

the end of an era

2011-11-18T23:43:00.007-05:00

This is to be our last weekend as residents of New York City.

Tuesday night after Taro got off work we got our first car as a family -- a minivan, to be exact. When we arrived home with our new wheels it was approaching 11 pm, an hour and a half later than we had originally promised the babysitter we would be getting back. In hopes of making it up to her a little bit, we decided to drive her to her apartment in Queens. In a celebratory mood, I told my drowsy, pajama-clad kiddos to put on their shoes and get ready to take their inaugural ride in the new vehicle.

We piled in, to oohs and ahhs, and set off for Long Island City. Within a few blocks the boys were asleep in their car seats, as the rest of us figured out how to navigate onto and off of the Queensborough Bridge. We dropped the sitter off at her place, noted that it was midnight, and suddenly realized how completely famished we were.

We were staring across the dashboard and over the East River at the glittering Manhattan skyline when it was decided: we needed a falafel from Mamouns and a slice from Joe's.

And so began our impromptu, epic-feeling, wee-hours tour of our beloved city, back across the bridge, into the Upper East Side, down through midtown and the East Village, then through Greenwich Village before heading North again and ending up in our 'hood, the Upper West Side.

I started getting choked up when we passed all the sparkly stores on 5th avenue. I could remember so vividly the snowy January night in 2004 when Taro and I went to look at my sculpture, which had just been displayed in the windows of Saks Fifth Avenue, alongside a ethereal Carolina Herrera gown. Could that really have only been seven years ago? It felt about a million lifetimes away.

It was kind of thrilling and surreal to whizz downtown in our own ride at such an ungodly hour. Memories were flooding back with each block. Flashes of favorite meals at old standby restaurants, recollections of achingly hard days/months when it seemed like the relentlessness of The City was just too much, thoughts of little milestones and big ones too...

My first walk, alone in Manhattan, from Astor Place to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and back again (I was freaked out about getting on the subway/bus alone, and I didn't know how to hail a cab. Plus walking was so exciting!)

Waiting outside Saint Vincent's Hospital on 9/11, feeling scared and helpless and numb.

The time Taro picked me up from my little sublet studio apartment in the wholesale district and took me to the Metropolitan Opera for my birthday.

Working at Screaming Mimis and subsisting on pomme frites and coffee for the better part of two years.

That day at work that I had a conversation with Yoko Ono, and she told me about losing the love of her life.

Getting dolled up and going swing dancing on W. 46th Street.

Volunteering for Our Time in its first seasons.

Having to take the stairs during the Blackout of 2003 (we lived on the 23rd floor).

Serendipitously meeting my late grandmother's old dear friend from her Mississippi childhood, who happened to live two floors below me. Befriending her and hanging out at her apartment drinking red wine and mint juleps (not at the same time) and hearing amazing stories of making it big in New York in the 60's and 70's.

Missing her so much when she passed away a couple of years later.

Brunches here.

Quitting my job in retail and renting my first studio space to make sculpture full time.

Getting invited to Fashion Week for the first time and obsessing over what to wear.

Getting verbally harassed by some creep on the R train.

Watching friends get arrested while peacefully protesting the Iraq War during the Republican convention.

Suffering through a really really severe case of chicken pox at the age of 26.

Finding out I was pregnant for the first time, and then only wanting to eat here for months.

Moving to the UWS and feeling like we had moved to a different planet.

Having a baby, and then another.

Feeling like we owned Central Park...

Soon we were driving past our old apartment, on 8th Street, then gazing up at the arch in Washington Square Park. We pulled up to Mamouns and I got out and ordered one of their transcendent falafel sandwiches, which I did not wait to eat (mama's got to get those calories!) Then Taro stopped by Joe's, ran in an brought back two slices. We ate those in the car (calories, I said!), parked at Father Demo Square, marveling at the hoards of people and cars and bikes and mopeds out at 1 in the morning. We decided we had stumbled upon a great new kind of date, one that consists of chauffeuring sleeping children around the city while we have great conversations and eat amazing food in the front seat of the car in the middle of the night.

We got back to our neighborhood and miraculously found parking on the street a few blocks from home. It was starting to rain a little as we carried the still-soundly-sleeping (and heavy! How did they get so heavy?!) boys into our building and put them back to bed.

It was 2 am when we snuggled down beside them a few minutes later, exhausted and emotional and happy.

Feeling grateful for such a wonderful life.

And looking forward to the next adventure.

Birth Story of the Week: A Poem by Pablo Neruda

2011-11-18T09:08:00.001-05:00

los nacimientos (births)

we will never have any memory of dying.
we were so patient
about our being,
noting down
numbers, days,
years and months,
hair, and the mouths we kiss,
and that moment of dying
we let pass without a note -
we leave it to others as memory,
or we leave it simply to water,
to water, to air, to time.
nor do we even keep
the memory of being born,
although to come into being was tumultuous and new;
and now you don’t remember a single detail
and haven’t kept even a trace
of your first light.
it’s well known that we are born.
it’s well known that in the room
or in the wood
or in the shelter in the fishermen’s quarter
or in the rustling canefields
there is a quite unusual silence,
a grave and wooden moment as
a woman prepares to give birth.
it’s well known that we were all born.
but if that abrupt translation
from not being to existing, to having hands,
to seeing, to having eyes,
to eating and weeping and overflowing
and loving and loving and suffering and suffering,
of that transition, that quivering
of an electric presence, raising up
one body more, like a living cup,
and of that woman left empty,
the mother who is left there in her blood
and her lacerated fullness,
and its end and its beginning, and disorder
tumbling the pulse, the floor, the covers
till everything comes together and adds
one knot more to the thread of life,
nothing, nothing remains in your memory
of the savage sea which summoned up a wave
and plucked a shrouded apple from the tree.
the only thing you remember is your life.

-pablo neruda

Thank you to Elizabeth for introducing me to this beautiful piece.
Painting by Luo Fa Hui, entitled "Mother and Child".

sakura bloom needs you

2011-11-17T10:31:00.003-05:00

I am reaching out to ask for your generosity in supporting a member of the Sakura Bloom family in her time of deep need. Our dear friend -- mother of two young children, a wife, an artist, a joyful person with a beautiful spirit, the first-ever Sakura Bloom model and face of the company -- is very ill. Diagnosed with three separate diseases (rheumatoid arthritis, ulcerative colitis, and acute sclerosing cholangitis) and two advanced tumors on her liver, she needs urgent care. We are raising funds to offset her expenses.

Please click here to purchase raffle tickets and be entered to win one of six gorgeous Sakura Bloom slings. 100% of funds raised will go directly to K and her family. Thank you so much for your help!

Lebasque on Breastfeeding

2011-11-16T16:50:00.004-05:00

Mother and Child, by Henri Lebasque

Here's an earlier post featuring the same artist and subject matter.

what we're reading

2011-11-15T10:43:00.006-05:00

The kiddos and I have been on a big reading kick lately, and we wanted to share some of our favorite recent/current reads!

Jackson cemented his status as Junior Bookaholic of the household (I'm Senior Bookaholic, duh!) when he begged me to stay up until almost midnight reading Stuart Little in one sitting. I hadn't read it since my own childhood, so I had forgotten it's many charms and was as delighted to devour it as he was. In the week since, we have gone back to our favorite chapters numerous times to be entertained and inspired by the larger-than-life exploits of the tiny New York City native.

I decided to keep our momentum going, so the day after we read Stuart Little I broke out Island of the Blue Dolphins. It's a significantly more advanced read, but I figured it would keep Junior Bookaholic hooked with its compelling mix of adventure, suspense, and intrigue. I was right. Not only did Jackson get sucked in to the story (which is based on true events) but I even found Taro reading it aloud on several occasions, and he often asked what he had missed when the kids and I read it without him. We were all transfixed and inspired by the tale of young Karana, who is left to survive alone on a remote island for years, relying on her wits and resourcefulness to evade the many dangers that stalk her.

George and Martha is another classic that we recently became enamored of. It's a totally delightful read, the brevity and simplicity of which belies it's rather profound depiction of love and friendship.

Abbey loaned me her beloved copy of Bird by Bird several months ago, and the fact that I am just now nearing the final chapters is simply an indication of how much I love it, and that I have wanted to savor it and re-read as I go, and basically never have it end. Anne Lamott is one of my favorite authors (Operating Instructions is a must-read for anyone with kids), so reading her observations and advice on writing and life feels like an amazing privilege. As always, her voice is uniquely funny, honest, and humane.

I'm just two chapters in to Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, but I've already laughed out loud at least ten times, and I'm more sure than ever that I would love to be friends with Mindy Kaling.

What are you reading? Share in the comments!

holiday craft fun

2011-11-11T14:09:00.008-05:00

Yesterday, the kiddos and I went to a crafting party thrown by our friends over at Martha Stewart! The event was held at Pins and Needles, and it was all kinds of fun...

Walker was super-into the chalkboard fabric ornament craft (although I think his favorite part was emptying the bucket of chalk out onto the table over and over again)...

here we are working on some button-embelished greeting cards...

and a sweet smile from Jackson, a very happy crafter :)

It was such a lovely event and the facilitators for each craft were so great with the kids. We definitely left feeling inspired to have a more handmade holiday season this year.

Check out the following links to see all the details on creating the crafts we made at the party:

Do you get into the crafting spirit when the holidays roll around? What ideas are you planning to try out this year? I'd love to know! Since we're moving to an actual house soon, I am SO looking forward to having the space to be artsy/crafty/creative with the kids all year round, but especially during the holidays.

Photos by Mike Krautter. Courtesy of Martha Stewart’s “Living in the Family Room” Blog.

stuck in my head

2011-11-10T07:28:00.008-05:00

This play mat farm

This organic wool coat (so great for pregnancy!)

These nails

Anthropolgie's rickshaw

This Faber Castell commercial

Sharmadean's pastel dip-dye

This phenomenal series of cloud photos

What's stuck in your head these days?

Picasso on Breastfeeding

2011-11-09T15:34:00.001-05:00

Maternite, 1905

Maternite, 1963

wednesday giveaway

2011-11-09T14:05:00.003-05:00

Today's giveaway is from designer Michelle Hartney. This fun collection of bags, charms, and headbands perfectly reflects Michelle's clever, feminine sensibility. Understated at times, exuberant and bold at others, this collection gathers inspiration from music, art, street fashion, film, and mother Earth.

The Red and Blue Tag Necklace is the newest piece from the Color Code line which combines color blocks of ribbon and antiqued silver chain, along with a white porcelain bead to create a unique and contemporary necklace.

The total length of the piece is 28" and will come in a beautiful gift box. The ribbon tags have been reinforced and are very firm and sturdy and measure 1.5 x .75 inches. The porcelain bead is .5".

To enter to win, please visit Michelle Hartney and then leave a comment on this post listing your favorite item, no later than 11:59 pm, Friday, November 11th. A winner will be chosen at random and announced on Monday. Good luck!

UPDATE: The lucky winner of the necklace is Manding. Congratulations and please email me by Friday, November 18, to claim your prize. leigh(at)leighpennebaker(dot)com!

holding pattern

2011-11-09T08:00:00.001-05:00

We have some kind of big news that I have not yet delved into here on ye olde blogue, but I think it's getting to be time.

And when I say "kind of big news" I mean like, really big.

In less than two weeks, we are moving.

Out of NYC.

To the suburbs.

Out of the apartment my children were born in.

Into a house.

Our first house.

We are filled with excitement and melancholy, happiness and stress, expectation and fear.

Most of all, we are filled with readiness.

We love New York so much (we have lived here for over thirty-six years, combined), yet we know it is now time for us to leave. We are falling in love with a new place, yet the relationship is untested.

Right now we are in this weird limbo, basically prepared for moving day in all the technical ways, and yet just kind of waiting through the last days and weeks.

I just told Taro, right now it's like we are in a holding pattern and when the holding pattern ends we're going to have a whole new life.

And that's the news.

Photo found here.

bump news, week 23

2011-11-06T15:05:00.007-05:00

Everybody wanted to get a piece of the photobooth action today when I started to document The Bump! I always forget how the best family pictures come from completely unplanned moments of goofiness and delight. Click image for a larger version.

We can see The Bump moving now, when it kicks! The boys get a charge out of zerberting my belly, and listening to the heartbeat last week was once again a surreal thrill for all of us.

My sister-in-law recently gave us a bunch of hand-me-down picture books that her kids have outgrown, one of which is called Welcome With Love, and it is wonderful. Have you heard of it? The book tells the story of a home birth with incredibly touching words and illustrations, and is one of the most sensitive, poetic-yet-realistic depictions of birth I have come across. We read it often together as a meditation on bringing this new life into the world and welcoming it into our family with reverence and love. Check it out, if you haven't already ;)

Week 21

friday giveaway

2011-11-04T01:00:00.000-04:00

Today I am excited to offer a lovely giveaway from Miss Yesterday, a shop based in Melbourne, Australia. Owner, Marianna Gentilin was a primary school teacher who travelled a lot for a decade before starting her family. Now the mother of two, Oscar and Giselle, she started Sisters' Market with her sister in 2008. Marianna loves running this indoor market filled with all the local talent and as a spin off she opened Miss Yesterday last month.

Miss Yesterday is inspired by travel, cultural experiences, childhood memories and the joy of a new find. Driven by the five senses, their hand picked collection will take you on a journey around this big small world we live in.

The item being offered in this giveaway is a Camille Set, which includes a tiny pocket doll in a matchbox house and a sixteen page booklet full of unique black and white illustrations by Paula Mills ready for you to color as you wish.

Camille lives in a matchbox doll house with her budgie friend or her cuckoo clock and she dreams about all her adventures. She dreams of talking to elephants, riding with swans in the moonlight and flying with angels. She loves to hear about your dreams too. She is hand stitched on to felt, slightly stuffed, and sits neatly in her house.

In the colouring book Camille is dancing with the wind, swinging from trees, laughing, hugging elephants, flying with angels, floating in tea cups and much, much, more!

The house measures approximately 5cm (2").

The booklet measures approximately 21cm x 15cm ( 6" x8.25").

Handmade in Australia.

To enter to win, please visit the shop and then leave a comment on this post listing your favorite item, no later than 11:59 pm, Monday, November 7th. A winner will be chosen at random and announced on Tuesday.

Also, please note the sale running on Miss Yesterday through November Enter NOVEMBER at checkout for 20% off your purchase storewide!

UPDATE, 11/8/11: The lucky winner of this giveaway is Miriam. Congrats Miriam, and thanks to all who entered!

the best...

2011-11-03T08:15:00.002-04:00

reading nook, ever!

Found on one of my faves, The Boo and The Boy.

Serebriakova on Breastfeeding

2011-11-02T00:09:00.002-04:00

Nurse with baby, by Zinaida Serebriakova, c. 1912

trick-or-treat

2011-11-01T08:26:00.003-04:00

Last night we had a Jedi and a pint-sized Batman roaming the neighborhood, in league with their pal, the cutest Garden Gnome ever.

Thanks for the top photo, Abbey ;)

the strange pull

2011-10-31T07:45:00.001-04:00

Photo via Liivia

Quote via Aubrey Road

Birth Story of The Week: The Birth of Gemma Bird

2011-10-28T09:51:00.011-04:00

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I am a huge fan of "Miss" James of Bleubird Vintage fame. Not only does she have the most amazing style and inspiring fashion sense, she is also the devoted mother of three beautiful kiddos and her blog captivatingly details their family adventures in words and images. I was thrilled when "Miss" James agreed to be a part of The Sakura Bloom Styleathlon last Summer, and even more flattered when she offered to share the amazing story of giving birth at home to her youngest child, here on Marvelous Kiddo! I had read the story of Gemma Bird's birth when it was originally posted on Bleubird, and I loved the intensity and raw honesty that comes through. I know you will enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you so much for sharing, "Miss" James!

--Leigh

i have finally worked up the courage to go back to this moment. it was a beautiful moment but also a very emotional one, so looking at the photos and videos was something that took me a lot longer to do than i expected. i don't even really know where to begin as i have never written a birth story before. i have only told small highlights to family and friends but have never relived each and every small detail. it's quite a task, let me tell ya. i feel like putting it down into words can't possibly come close to how incredible and endearing an experience it truly was. but i'm going to try so here we go...

i have had three completely different birth experiences. i had julian in the hospital at the age of 21. he was 2 weeks early. i had an epidural after twenty hours of labor, out of fear, when hearing the lady giving birth next door to me. she was screaming. loudly. and it terrified me. so i got my epidural, out he came, i couldn't feel a thing and that was that. overall it was a good experience. minus the rude as hell nurse, the catheter, the mandatory, and in my opinion unnecessary, preventative actions taken by doctors "just in case" something goes wrong, the stubborn staff trying to get me to leave my baby in the nursery so i could rest, the getting woken up every couple hours so they could check my vitals, the having to stay in the hospital for three days before being allowed to go home. to be honest the only part about my birth of julian that i loved... was julian. everything else pretty much sucked. i knew then that i wanted to explore more options for next time.

when next time came, two years later, we decided to really take our time and decide what and where and how WE wanted to bring our second child into the world. after lots of research we decided to go with a natural birthing center. i was thinking that because i made it through twenty hours of julian's labor with zero intervention, that it wouldn't hurt that bad and that i could do it, piece o' cake. boy was i wrong. milla plum was born two weeks early as well, with a little help from castor oil and kohash supplements. i got impatient and was stupid and i payed the price. my labor from start to finish was five dreadful hours long. the most hellacious, painful and agonizing five hours of my entire life. i did not think i would make it through. i went from two centimeters to ten centimeters in 25 minutes and with one push that i wasn't ready for, she was out. it was a whirlwind and i was not present. i was completely overtaken by the pain. after delivery i passed out and slept for two hours. it was not a good experience. i vowed then and there that natural birth was not for me and that any future babies that we "most likely would not be having" would be had in the hospital where the epidurals ran free. but after that experience i was done. two kiddos was good. plenty. enough. i was happy with two.

fast forward eight years later, a divorce and a move to texas where i was ready to start a newly single mommy life. i met a man who loved me and loved my children whole heartedly. he was okay with the fact that i didn't want to have more children, but he was also saddened that he wouldn't be able to experience having and fathering one of his own. i said "maybe someday, but probably not." i was happy with how life was. the subject of another baby had come up several times but i just wasn't ready for more children. well, it didn't really matter what i thought because one late period and two pregnancy tests later there we were, expecting a new baby and i was, how do i say this... shocked and unprepared. i was now thirty years old and had travel plans and career plans that a new baby did not fit into. it took a lot of time to let it sink in and for me to accept and learn to fall in love with the idea of starting all over with a new baby, a new mister and a new journey in motherhood. but it happened and the excitement and love grew and took over.

i embraced my pregnancy and tried to enjoy every minute of growing this new life inside of me. we decided to contact a midwife and try a water birth at home after talking with close friends who had a rewarding experience, watching countless videos and reading up on the pros and cons. ultimately this seemed like the best decision for us and we were excited. but in the back of my mind i was afraid. my midwife carol, was wonderful. she addressed all of our concerns and really helped me through my fears from my past natural birth. i was expecting to have this baby two weeks early like my other two children. my midwife carol was thinking i would go early as well since that seemed to be how my pregnancies went in the past so we had everything ready and prepared for baby birdie at 37 weeks. the birthing tub was set up in the family room, all of the baby's little clothes were washed and put away. her blankies were washed and folded. the towels along with all of the other items we needed to have on hand and ready were all set up next to the tub awaiting this tiny baby's arrival. at 38 weeks we were so anxious for our brand new baby daughter to come into our lives. she just had to come early. all of my babies come early. one night a couple of days after the 38 week mark i started having contractions. "this is it!" i said. i was so ready to meet my darling baby girl. my contractions were getting more and more uncomfortable and started coming more and more frequently. they got to be 6 minutes apart and thought it was "time" and that we should call our midwife. she came right over and said that if this was real labor that it was early labor and that i should get some rest for when it progresses into the active stages. so i did what the midwife ordered and took my mandatory nap. i woke up the next morning and realized that they had stopped. a heavy cloud of disappointment came over me. we were hoping they would pick back up after a long walk through the neighborhood. i walked for over an hour but they did not start back up. she just wasn't ready yet.

a week later (39 weeks) there were still no signs of baby bird. carol called me to ask me if i would like her to strip my membranes to help speed this baby along. she had a midwifery conference to go to in austin later in the week and was hoping that i would have been delivered a few days before so she could attend. she also knew that i was ready to pop and anxiously awaiting this little missy's arrival so of course i was up for the strippin'. we drove to see her and the membranes were stripped. within an hour contractions started coming. i was doing my best not to get my hopes up but they were secretly up. and really high! contractions kept getting stronger and stronger throughout the night and i was convinced that it was TIME. aubrey was a trooper and rubbed my back in between each one. we didn't want to call carol until i was sure this was it. i did not sleep much at all that night and then around 6am my contractions started slowing down and then once again they completely stopped. i was disheartened and tired and went to sleep. when i woke up i was confused and saddened that i was not in labor. i decided to just let nature take its course. my midwife went to her convention, still no baby. my due date (august 20th) was slowly approaching. we waited and waited and waited. then on the 19th i had another midwife appointment. my due date was one day away. she asked me if i'd like her to try stripping my membranes a second time. i said "why not?" so we did the strip and then went out to eat a big ol' plate of eggplant parmesan which is mythed to begin labor. home we went, hopeful that this would bring on baby bird. contractions started but they were mild. we went to sleep. around 5am i awoke with strong contractions... "could this be it? is baby bird coming today? on her due date?"

i didn't want to get my hopes up but they kept a comin', stronger and closer together. i was so hopeful that this was it. i went to the rest room and there was, pardon the grossness, but bloody show. i yelled to aubrey from the bathroom "i think this is it. for reals this time!" at 7am we called carol. she said that she would take a shower and come on over to check me. we got julian and milla packed and ready to spend the day and night with friends just in case it was baby day. at 8am i kissed my two beautiful kiddos goodbye with tears in my eyes. all that i could think of was that this may be the last time that i have only two children. the last time that my kiddos only have one sibling. it was an indescribable, emotional moment. they left and aubrey and i just held each other. "i think this is it." i said to him. "i hope so." he said.

my contractions were starting to get more and more painful. i laid on the couch and then moved to the birthing ball. went back to the couch and then back to the birthing ball. i kept rocking back and fourth hoping that it would help speed things along. carol showed up just before 9 and checked me. lying there, i was so afraid that she was going to tell me that i was not in labor. that i was only at 1 1/2 centimeters like before. she looked at me and said with a smile "this is it... you're at six." i immediately started to cry tears of happiness and excitement. my little girl was coming and coming fast. she told aubrey to start filling up the tub which he did happily. he seriously was such a gem. so helpful and supportive. the love for him i had grew times 100 that day. it really did. it took about 40 minutes for the tub to fill up. during that forty minutes my contractions were unbearable and i just wanted it to be over. it was time to get in.

i felt a little strange and awkward in the birthing tub sitting there half naked with everyone watching me. soon after i got into the tub paula, the second midwife, arrived. this was real. this was happening. i felt like it was my first time having a baby. it all seemed so new to me. we played devandra banhart on the record player. i sipped on recharge. my contractions were so strong. the pain was so powerful and overtaking.

(stills from our birth video.)

aubrey helped me through each one until they became so unbearable that i just wanted the room quiet and for no one to touch me. i have been told that there was swearing. i just wanted to be left alone with the pain.

i had been in the tub for nearly an hour, breathing though the pain as best i could. the contractions were coming so fast. by the time my body had settled down and i was comfortable again another contraction would come, bigger, stronger and longer than the one before. it was not fun. but i knew that she was coming and that is what got me through it.

then all of the sudden, i had the urge to push. out of nowhere. i felt it. my body started to push on it's own. carol checked me again and i was at ten centimeters. it was time. i was petrified. i remember this cold, shivering feeling take over me. i wasn't ready. i didn't want to do this. in my head i just couldn't do this. but i had to push. i started pushing with the next contraction. once the contraction let up i was so happy to rest but was still so afraid. the pain was so much. so great. it was taking over. carol did a great job at helping me submit to the pain. to just let it happen and to breathe through it rather than fight it. she told me to push as hard as i could with the next contraction. i still could not believe that this was all happening. with the next contraction i pushed. i pushed hard and in the middle of the contraction carol got a worried look on her face and told me, quite sternly, that i was not pushing hard enough and that the baby's heartbeat had dropped, a lot, and that i had to get her out on this next push to make sure she would be okay. i panicked, snapped out of my fearful funky haze and with the next contraction pushed as hard as i could. but i couldn't get her out. i could feel her. she was so close. i was scared that something could be wrong with my baby. on the next contraction i pushed with everything i had. it was the longest push ever. i felt like it would never end and then came a rush if relief, she was out. it was over. the cord was wrapped around her neck. carol unwrapped it and placed her on my chest. the room was so calm and quiet. there was a tiny baby girl in my arms. she was perfect. she was beautiful. she was ours.

it was amazing. her warm little body. her tiny little hands. the drop in her heartbeat was due to the cord being so tight around her neck. carol took her from me and made sure she was okay. she hadn't cried yet. she rubbed her back rapidly until she let out one big adorable little cry. she was breathing fine. her heartbeat was strong. she was healthy. relief!

after a little newborn examination, carol called out that she weighed 6 lbs. 11 oz. and was 21 inches long. i delivered the placenta and we discovered that i tore. ouch! i definitely felt that let me tell ya! after a little fixin' it was now time for me and my baby girl to take an herbal bath and get cleaned up. my newly proud papa bird helped me into the bath tub and then handed me my little girl. i still couldn't believe that it was over. i wasn't pregnant anymore. i just had a baby. i was a little in shock i think. moving really slow, a little shaky and unsure of what to do. it was a surreal feeling.

once we were all cleaned up aubrey helped us upstairs into bed. it felt amazing, like a cloud. i was so happy to be laying down. i was finally able to soak it all in. what had just occurred. to look at my darling daughter and be proud of what i had just accomplished. i did it. we did it. here she is. this beautiful, healthy, perfect baby girl. the midwife checked our vitals and prescribed me a week of bed rest to make sure that my tearing would heal properly. we spent the next few hours in bed, the three of us. just mama, papa and baby bird. we just stared at her with giant smiles and heavy hearts. she was so pretty. aubrey was a daddy, a father and so so proud. we were so in love.

the kiddos were spending the night with our friends but i wanted so much for them to be home sharing this moment with us. we decided to let them stay the night so we could rest and bond with our baby girl. the next morning they came home bright and early to meet their new baby sister. it was so darling. they made me and baby the most adorable hand painted signs. it melted my heart.

watching my kiddos hold their new baby sister was one of the most amazing sights. i was the proudest mama. i had created three beautiful lives. the love i have for these three children is indescribable.

my little family was perfect. i couldn't ask for anything more. this little baby girl brought all of us even closer together than we already were.

and now here we are. she's almost six months old. i can't believe it. it feels like yesterday. we are so very lucky. i couldn't be happier. she has brightened our days and calmed our nights. she's the perfect fit into this little bunch. she opened my heart to more children. now we are planning baby number four for later this year. i can't wait.

thanks for reading. big hugs!

footnote: sadly i didn't get many pictures of papa bird holding baby gemma within these first couple of days. only the crappy iphone photo shown. he was the one behind the camera the whole time while birdie and i were resting. sweet man.

Howard on Breastfeeding

2011-10-26T21:47:00.002-04:00

Self-portrait with Max, Ghislaine Howard, 1984

Charcoal on paper

29" x 22"

bump news, week 21

2011-10-25T19:54:00.005-04:00

How have I gotten through half of this pregnancy without starting the bump updates??? I think it might have something to do with this being the third bump in less than four and a half years, LOL.

Well, with grandparents in town visiting and the kiddos happily occupied, I decided to seize the opportunity for a bit of alone time and start documenting numero three before he/she is born already!

Babe is very active, with lots of flutters and kicks since about 14 weeks (the earliest I've ever felt movement). Jackson and Walker have both felt the kicks too, and they are both so sweetly excited. Listening to the heartbeat was amazing during our last visit with our midwife, and Jackson has been convinced ever since that it is a boy (although he says he would prefer a sister).

All is well, and we can't wait to meet this little person in March!

our time on anderson!

2011-10-25T09:31:00.005-04:00

Today, Tuesday, October 25, Anderson Cooper's new national talk-show, Anderson, will feature a performance by Our Time and a sit-down interview with company member Philip Garber.

Philip's recent story of discrimination in The New York Times has captured the world's interest and reignited the global conversation about stuttering.

To tune in, please check your local listings for channels and air times :)

in the moment

2011-10-24T22:55:00.006-04:00

The phrase on the stairs translates as "Childhood finds paradise in the moment. It does not demand happiness. It is happiness."

I think that's lovely!

Marie Claire Maison, November 2011, Via The City Sage.

some thoughts on unschooling: a rather lengthy follow-up to my "good will hunting" post

2011-10-22T01:33:00.008-04:00

Wow, I love the conversation this post has sparked, and I love that people are weighing in with thoughtful and varied opinions! Thank you all so much for commenting, and please do keep chiming in :)

Some really excellent points have been brought up in the comment thread, so I want to address a few of those and dive into the discussion with a little more personal background. I won't be able to cover everything I want to say in just one post, but the issue of education is very important to me and I do bring it up here often without getting "into" it on a personal level. I figure since I keep harping on this kind of unconventional approach to learning that is unschooling, I owe it to my audience to articulate where I stand and why. So here goes:

First of all, wow, isn't Art grand? Good Will Hunting and this particular scene are classic, and I think they raise so many beautiful, perplexing, and challenging themes that clearly resonate with many many people.

Of course, Will Hunting is a fictional character, and he embodies many extreme qualities that are not typically found in combination in real-world individuals (the super-hotness melded with being a genius savant melded with having LOTS of personal issues melded with being just naturally cool and street smart, etc. etc.). So it's not that I think he's this Great Model of Unschooling, the perfect example of how you don't have to go to school to be smart or educated. He's a made-up character!

But that's the thing about powerful art -- it can communicate strong truths about our world without being completely realistic. What I think is so great about this scene is that it brings up what I feel to be an entirely valid point: you don't have to go to school to be educated. You don't have to have an expensive degree to be incredibly knowledgeable and passionate about important/esoteric/advanced subjects. In fact, autodidacticism often results in a much deeper understanding and appreciation of the material learned than does compulsory schooling.

I believe in authentic learning rather than forced memorization. I believe in self-directed exploration for the love of it rather than education through a system based on reward and punishment (grades, testing, the whole academic ball of wax). I believe that children should primarily play and not be confined to desks. I believe in nurturing imagination rather than emphasizing rote regurgitation of facts.

I am a lifelong unschooler. For the majority of my childhood I was not required to do schoolwork and I was never pressured to keep up with age-appropriate grade-levels. I played, I read, I drew, I danced, I listened to and played music, I cooked meals alongside my mother and father and grandmother, I learned how to write, I watched movies, I gardened, I helped my parents build a house, I traveled, I had a range of friends who varied greatly in age, maturity, background, areas of expertise. I often engaged with friends and family in rich dialogues and debates, and was encouraged by those around me to speak my mind and always ask questions, to follow my heart and my interests.

Starting when I was in my early teens, I began to audit college courses in subjects that interested me, ranging from English to Music Theory, to Science, to History. I did this purely for the love of learning, and because I wanted to try it out. I was not there because anyone else forced me to be there, I was not there because I wanted to rack up credits or credentials or be some kind of type-A overachiever. My interests and passions had been nurtured my entire life. My parents had not acted as teachers but as facilitators, encouraging and supporting me and providing resources when I wanted them without ever forcing me into an agenda. Choosing to engage with professors and classmates on topics that mattered to me was a huge vehicle for learning, and I will be the first to say I gained much from it. I am not sure that I gained INVALUABLE things, or things that would not have been possible to glean on my own or in another kind of setting, but it was a growing experience and after years of not attending school it was weirdly validating to know that I could function within the culturally valued mode of education (academia) and moreover I could excel there, often outpacing my conventionally-schooled peers, several years my elder.

In my late teens, I enrolled in college full-time, as a degree-seeking Freshman, and set out to see what the world of school could offer me when immersed in it with a full course-load and the objective of obtaining some actual credits and credentials. In my first semesters there, and continuing through my stay, I can unequivocally say that I read less, and at a much shallower level than I ever had before in my life. I became focused on studying for tests. A life-long writer, I learned how to effectively bullshit (not that this is a skill without merits!) papers to get them turned in by the deadline. Previously free to engage with mentors, teachers, family members, and classmates and converse with them on topics of interest, I now felt intellectually numbed, less engaged, and totally sleep deprived thanks to the combined forces of schoolwork and school-style social life (that's a whole other topic that would take at least one looooong post to address!).

And I was "succeeding" at the game! I maintained a high GPA, my teachers loved me, and I had lots of friends!

After graduation, my experience left me feeling entirely ambivalent about academia. I don't think it was a total waste of time, because sure, I learned things and I am not one to look back on personal experience with regret. But I AM pretty sure it was a waste of money. Despite having had various academic scholarships, and having worked numerous part-time jobs while pursuing my degree, I still left school saddled with loans, and a pretty keen sense that getting a job in my chosen field might not actually be made so magically easier by having a degree, good grades, and academic honors.

And indeed, I applied for many jobs when I left college and ended up actually waiting tables and working in retail (not that there's anything wrong with those occupations, but those are not the lines of work that people typically aspire to while striving for their college degree, am I right?) I also know I am not alone in this predicament. It is a well-talked-about fact that in recent years the value of higher education has gone down, while the price tag has gone up. I know plenty of people with advanced degrees that still struggle with school loans and settle for careers that fall somewhere significantly beneath what they had envisioned for themselves as they travelled through the system doing everything "right" for 16-plus years of their lives.

All of this is to say, that as someone who identifies as an unschooler I do not believe that school is somehow inherently evil, but even in its best incarnations it IS incredibly flawed, and I believe that society places far too much emphasis on the importance of this factory-based system of one-size-fits-all education.

And sure, unschooling is not for everyone either! But as a philosophy, I think it is an idea whose time has come, and more people are starting to wake up to the reality that they do not have to live their lives from preschool onward in a kind of perpetual race for credentials of questionable value. You do not have to slack off on (or abdicate entirely) your individuality, your imagination, your interests, or your voice in the pursuit of a degree. You do not have to give up years of play, or reading, or writing comic books, or directing theatrical productions, or sewing your own wardrobe, or starting a business, or programming computers, or riding your bike, in exchange for the be-all-end-all Education with a capitol "E". Like it or not, school is built on a model that encourages standardization and rewards conformity, and I think many school students pay a much higher price for living in the system than the one listed on their student loan bills every month.

Which brings us back to the lovely scene in the bar, and what was for me, Will's rather elegant closing line,

"…at least I won't be unoriginal."

Photo: Yours Truly at age two ;)

mischa lampert

2011-10-20T15:01:00.004-04:00

I am head over heels for these gorgeously cozy hats by designer Mischa Lampert. Don't you think they would brighten even the most blah of winter days?

you're invited! NYC book event

2011-10-17T13:03:00.003-04:00

I am helping out with an amazing event on Wednesday night, and I would love to see you there!

On Wed., Oct 19, from 6-7:30 p.m. at Metro Minis, author Paige Wolf will be speaking and signing copies of her book Spit That Out: The Overly Informed Parent’s Guide to Raising Children in the Age of Environmental Guilt at this green mom gathering and celebration. Special guests Alysia Reiner and yours truly will be on hand to chat about green parenting dilemmas.

Enjoy sangria and special sweet treats provided by Chef Herbert of Desserts by Dana, winner of TLC’s Cake Boss:The Next Great Baker, and take home organic treats for kids from Happy Baby.

Please register for this free event online and on Facebook.

As a new mother, Paige Wolf has been committed to living an eco-friendly and healthy lifestyle. But with the flood of constantly changing information, it's become an increasingly difficult task. In addition to the age-old daunting task of raising happy, healthy babies, mothers are constantly bombarded with new and contradictory research concerning environmental toxins, long-term product effects, and the far-reaching impact of every product we purchase and decision we make.

Spit That Out! answers the questions posed by mothers on the verge of a “green mom nervous breakdown” and turns to experts to present facts, debunk myths, and help parents stay on a reasonable and responsible course without losing their minds. Whether they are cloth-diapering, holistic mamas or moms who still can't give up their designer duds, all modern mothers can relate to the desperation of wanting to do the best for their children — and feeling hopelessly overwhelmed in the process. Spit That Out! feeds an audience of mothers hungry for commiseration, direction, and relief.

Click image below for larger view ;)

my favorite unschooling dialogue from an oscar-winning movie, ever

2011-10-16T15:21:00.007-04:00

Chuckie: Are we gonna have a problem here?

Clark: No, no, no, no! There's no problem here. I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies, could be most aptly described as agrarian pre-capitalist.

Will: Of course that's your contention. You're a first-year grad student; you just got finished reading some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that 'till next month when you get to James Lemon. Then you're going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year; you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about, you know, the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

Clark: Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social...

Will: "Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth"? You got that from Vickers' Work in Essex County, page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you, is that your thing, you come into a bar, read some obscure passage and then pretend - you pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girls, embarrass my friend?

Will: See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're going to come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do that, and two, you dropped 150 grand on a fuckin' education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library!

Clark: Yeah, but I will have a degree. And you'll be servin' my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.

Will: That may be, but at least I won't be unoriginal. But I mean, if you have a problem with that, I mean, we could just step outside - we could figure it out.

Clark: No, man, there's no problem. It's cool.

--Good Will Hunting, 1997

UPDATE, 10-23-11: If you are just visiting my blog for the first time and this post has brought you here, please check out my follow-up post that deals with the topic of unschooling in an in-depth and very personal manner. I urge you to read the comments there as well, as the post has sparked a terrific conversation about education. Of course, feel free to join in! I would love to hear your opinion :)

Thanks,

Leigh

weekend!

2011-10-15T08:38:00.002-04:00

I hope your weekend is off to a kick-ass start.

XOXO,

Leigh

Bruce and Brandon Lee, via Nick Drake.

family costumes

2011-10-13T17:35:00.003-04:00

80's Power Couple (their baby is the giant cell-phone!!!)

Willy Wonka, Violet Beauregarde, Oompa Loompa, and Chocolate Bar

Max and Wild Things

Monkey and Banana

I love these creative, funny, and amazingly well-executed family halloween costumes! Aren't they genius? Top photo via Black Eiffel, last three via Pintrest.

What are you planning to be this halloween? My little guys are planning to be Darth Vader and Batman, respectively. In case you missed it, here's what we've done in the last couple of years: 2010, 2009.

mountain mama maternity jacket

2011-10-12T14:09:00.003-04:00

This maternity jacket from Mountain Mama,

I am digging it hard.

Love the color, high neck, and the streamlined fit.

Plus, I am smitten with those thumb-cuffs.

Positively perfect for keeping you and your bump cozy on crisp Fall days, don't you think?

Order online, here.

two thoughts for your tuesday

2011-10-11T10:14:00.002-04:00

Via the great Vineet Kaur.

UPDATED: how to peel a head of garlic in less than ten seconds

2011-10-06T19:48:00.002-04:00

Best kitchen tip ever!!!

Meanwhile, a little update ;) Since I posted this last night, my foodie dad was inspired to try the technique out. He had a hunch that the size of the container wouldn't matter, so he tried it with a tiny little saucepan + lid. And it totally worked! How cute is his expression of wonder, in the second pic? LOL.

lego haunted houses

2011-10-06T14:09:00.004-04:00

Artist Mike Doyle created these incredible sculptures using nothing but Legos. Read more about the project, here. Via Automatism.

hatch collection

2011-10-06T07:43:00.002-04:00

How freaking fabulous are these looks, created to be "perfect before, during, and after" pregnancy? This collection's sophisticated simplicity and the downtown, urban edge of the styling certainly takes mama-friendly chic to a new level. In fourteen easy-to-wear (like, would you ever want to take them off??!!) pieces. From the newly-launched label, Hatch. Shop here. Via Oh Joy.

Birth Story of the Week: My Body Was Meant For This

2011-10-04T23:43:00.005-04:00

This is a great story sent to me by Marvelous Kiddo reader, Kaelee. I loved learning about her journey to a home birth, and how all of her research and preparation led her to a genuine place of peace, which allowed her to face the hard work of giving birth with strength and confidence. The photos of this birth are wonderful, too. To see a slideshow of the birth, go here. Thanks for sharing, Kaelee!

--Leigh

After much research, and soul-searching my husband Mike and I decided on a home birth with midwives. Tragically the Beautiful midwife that was caring for me, Briana Blackwelder, died in a car accident a few weeks before I gave birth. It was quite a shock, and I was discouraged by it for a couple weeks. The midwife who would have been attending the birth as an assistant, Cathy, completely took over, and was so wonderful. She took care of us so well even though she was grieving the loss of her very closest friend. It didn’t take us long to get close to her, and for me to feel comfortable and ready for our baby.

My “due date” was May 13th, but I kept telling myself to expect Hazel to come later. Nevertheless the last week or so was extremely hard. I just wanted to hold my baby in my arms. My sister-in-law, who’s baby wasn’t due until the 24th went in on the 17th for an induction, which did not make waiting for our baby any easier. I knew that we wanted to birth naturally in our own home, and if that meant waiting then wait I would.

Wednesday, at my last meeting with my midwife, I confessed my frustrations. Cathy comforted me, and said she had a feeling that things would start happening on Friday, and she was right. Thursday night I tossed and turned. The sensations I was experiencing were new and different. I asked Mike to take Friday off from work, just in case. He humored me, I think in part, because I had kept him up with my squirming all night.

On Friday we did some grocery shopping, just in case we wouldn’t have another chance to. On the way to the store I vomited. The only time in my life I have gotten excited about throwing up. Something was happening. I kept asking Mike if he thought we would have our baby the next day. We shopped, went home, took a nap, and Mike made dinner. Right in the middle of dinner my water broke, at 7:00pm on Friday May 20th. I hadn’t been paying much attention to the sensations I was feeling, unsure if they were real contractions. They were very distant from one another though, maybe an hour apart. I called Cathy to report the news. She said she would plan on being at our house with her assistant at midnight, unless things began progressing quickly. It was quite a drive for them, so regardless of my progress they would be staying until the baby was born.

I called my sister with a list of supplies, and called my Mom. Mike and I decided it would be best to rest and try to sleep at that point. Everyone arrived around midnight. Cathy and her assistant, Sarah, checked Hazel’s heart rate, and my dilation. It would be a while. We all went to separate corners of the cabin to get some rest. By then surges were more like every 15 minutes. I spent a lot of time going back and forth from the bathroom. It seemed like surges were easier when my bladder was empty. I slowly progressed through the night, with the support of Mike, and the occasional heart rate check by Cathy. I remember emerging from the bathroom many times into a very peaceful, dimly lit cabin. Cathy sipping her tea comfortably in the recliner, and Mike stoking the fire. I was glad to be at home.

As surges grew more intense I climbed into our bath tub for relief. The water was very helpful, and I told mike to get the birthing tub filled and ready for me. They started to get pretty strong around 6 a.m. I climbed in the birthing tub, and worked really VERY hard to breathe through each surge for the next 4 hours. Mike was so helpful here. Many times he reminded me about my (Hypnobirthing) breathing, which I know I could have spent a lot more time practicing. My sister was awake, and snapping pictures. My mother was standing by, I think wishing there was something she could do to help. Occasionally she would wipe my forehead with a wet cloth, or place her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. A few times I recall looking up at each of them to see tears in their eyes, as well as Mike’s. My memory is hazy, I believe I was in sort of a daze, working to relax. The midwives simply watched over us, holding the space. The calm.

I started feeling a little bit of an urge to push around 9 am, but wasn’t sure if that’s what it was. My midwife said she could check me, or I could just check to see if I felt Hazel’s head myself. I tried, and got a bit discouraged because I wasn’t sure what I felt, but didn’t think anything felt like a baby’s head. Looking back, I’m pretty sure that what I felt was a small lip of my cervix, and her mushy head right behind it. I didn’t think that is what her head would feel like at the time, and couldn’t believe that after hours of hard work, no head.

Sometime during that last hour Mike turned off the music, and put on the affirmations. I’m glad he waited until then to pull that out, because it reminded me of so many things we had practiced, that I was forgetting about. I was letting myself get anxious and tense, and it was as if a had been given a pill to make me relax. Peace washed over me.

I had been kneeling in the pool for about 4 hours and my knees and hips were aching. Cathy or Mike, I don’t recall who, suggested I change positions; stand up. I stood and felt a surge coming. I hung my whole body weight around Mike for the next two surges. They were hard, and so close together. I was so tired. Changing positions must have helped the baby to move down past my cervix. After I knelt back in the pool, the pushing urges were so very powerful.

At Briana’s funeral a young birth mother and friend of Briana’s spoke of her own birth experience. She said something that I think I was meant to hear. I do not remember the exact wording, though it was very eloquent. When it came time to push Briana specifically instructed her that she would want so badly to push on top of the sensation, but to fight it. Not to push on top of it or she would tear. She tensed up, she pushed, and she tore. For some reason this stuck with me. Perhaps this was Briana, doing her part. This was Briana being my midwife. When these sensations came, I kept remembering these words. ”Do not push on top of it” I kept thinking over and over. It would get more intense and I would fight against it. I wasn’t trying to hold the baby in, and I wasn’t trying to push her out, I was fighting to relax. Mike had his arms around me, and I was clinging to him, grasping his arms so tightly. Each time one would come, I would tense up and Mike would remind me to take a long deep breath. I hummed loud, or did “horse lips” when I would breathe out. Mike made noise along with me. There was a huge difference in the progress I made when I was tense, as opposed to when I was able to go inside of my mind and relax. I struggled between these two places. The breathing we learned in our HypnoBirthing class for this last stage of labor was the one thing I practiced daily, and was especially important.

During a surge, Cathy told Megan that she better get over there with the camera, because she would only have one chance to capture Hazel being born. She said I had a few more to go. I heard that, and in my mind I said "No way! I am not going through any more of these!" I felt the next surge coming and I pushed, I pushed hard. I was done. I didn’t care if I tore, I wanted to be finished. I pushed, and she came right out. I felt her come out. I didn’t feel burning, I didn’t feel pain, I just felt the pressure, and then I felt it disappear. I reached through my legs, under the water, and Cathy handed Hazel to Mike and I. She was so sticky. We brought her out of the water, and I just stared and stared at her. I was so happy to finally be holding our little girl. She was covered in thick vernix, and she was a crier. She stayed in my arms for over an hour, and I was oblivious to what was happening around me. I remember occasionally glancing at Mike, my mom, my sister, and my midwives, kind of in disbelief. Was this real? Had it all really taken place? Was I really a mom now? After an horu or so, her cord was clamped and cut, and her daddy got to hold her for the first time. I suffered no perineal tears, and no significant swelling. Afterwards I was elated, and felt a rush of energy. The things I learned about birth empowered me to believe that my body was meant for this, and to follow my instincts. That is exactly what I did.

Hazel Fae: Born 5/21/2011, 9:59 AM. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces, and was 21 inches long.

And my heart was changed forever.

I have been thinking a lot about my choice to transfer care from our OB/GYN to a midwife. It had so much to do with taking my Hypnobirthing class. At the first class I felt something, a peace that I hadn’t felt. When we met (Our deceased midwife) Briana I felt it again, and I knew that this was right. As I transitioned into the world of natural childbirth, that peace went from being a feeling I noticed only around others, into something that grew within me. I thrived in this nurturing atmosphere. This is where my fear faded away, and my confidence emerged. We are so lucky to have experienced something so perfect. We have absolutely no complaints. I learned so much about myself, and grew tremendously from Hazel’s birth.

I loved being able to labor at home in my own space, with the support of four amazing women, and my own husband. What a quiet, peaceful environment for a child to be born into. . I know I did a hard thing, and I know I did it right

Jenny Saville: Reproduction Drawings

2011-10-04T09:16:00.003-04:00

After reading this review, I can't wait to get to Gagosian Gallery to catch the latest work of artist Jenny Saville. From the gallery's press release:

Saville portrays the intimate relationship between mother and child in a series of life-sized drawings directly inspired by Renaissance nativity portraits -- in particular Leonardo da Vinci’s cartoon The Virgin and Child with St. Anne and John the Baptist, an atypical scene in which the Virgin contends with a lively Christ-child. In Study for Pentimenti IV (After Michelangelo’s Virgin and Child) (2011), and Componimento inculto (2011), the subjects – a pregnant woman and young child-- are recorded in symbiotic flux. Multiple impressions of each figure are drawn, erased, and superimposed again to create studies in simultaneity; the relationship between them is expressed in a series of dynamic poses rather than in static compositions of iconographic order. Through these intricate studies, Saville gives powerful graphic life to the anatomical details and expressive movements that animate and underpin her visceral paintings.

980 Madison Avenue, Through October 22nd.

wisdom for your monday

2011-10-03T08:34:00.002-04:00

“A person who is a master in the art of living makes little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their mind and their body, their education and their recreation, their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which and simply pursue their vision of excellence and grace, whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing. To them they are always doing both.”

--Zen Poet

Photo via here.

tgif

2011-09-30T23:49:00.004-04:00

Happy weekend/welcome to October, ya'll.

XOXO

Leigh

Image found here.

my mom's raw vegan supper club

2011-09-29T14:38:00.006-04:00

Last week my mom teamed up with her friend and fellow raw-food-enthusiast, Lydia, to host a raw vegan supper club! The two of them prepared all the food from scratch in my parent's kitchen, and served the meal to about fifteen paying guests set up a various tables around the house. The evening was a huge success, and they're already getting requests for another meal!

Martha and Lydia's five course raw vegan menu

I. Three Peppercorn-Crusted Cashew Cheese with Honeycomb & Balsamic vinegar

II. Herb Salad with Tahini & Dulse

III. Butternut Squash Bisque with Spiced Parsley Salad

IV. Creamy Polenta with Wild Mushroom Ragout and Fried Shallots

V. Banana Chocolate Tart with Caramel and Chocolate Sauces

Doesn't everything look delicious?! I've already told my mom we have to do an NYC iteration the next time she's in town ;)

TEDYouth

2011-09-29T14:20:00.006-04:00

This is so cool. I just learned that TED is launching a special event, just for young people in grades 6-12! Here's a summary, from the official TED blog:

"The theme for our TEDYouth program is 'Play, Learn, Build and Share.' Be inspired and challenged by 20 passionate TEDYouth speakers who’ll inspire creativity, share mind-shifting stories, and engage their physical and virtual audience in ways that every student deserves."

The conference will be held on November 19, 2011, at the Times Center in New York City and it's free to attend for the 300 applicants that TED is accepting! Read more about the event, and learn how to apply, here. I wish I could go ;)

us

2011-09-27T22:44:00.004-04:00

I know I haven't shared much in the way of family updates lately. In fact, things have been such a whirlwind of activity since we arrived back in NYC from our Summer adventures I've hardly had a chance to catch my breath, much less compose a thoughtful post about Life As We Know It. Hopefully I'll get around to that soon ;)

Meanwhile, here's a rare family portrait of us, taken last month when we were in North Carolina, at Camp Our Time. Trust me when I say the boys look older already.

Photo by Julie Mallett.

little mama

2011-09-27T08:02:00.003-04:00

I spotted this little mama on the wonderful blog of babywearing emporium, Maverick Baby. How could I not share?! Check out the Maverick blog and shop for tons of swoonworthy carriers and stylish babywearing inspiration.

Birth Story of the Week: Birth in Rural Nepal

2011-09-27T00:31:00.003-04:00

For this week's story I am linking to this incredible photo-essay about a young mother giving birth in rural Nepal. Images and text by Toni Greaves. Via NPR's The Baby Project.

kid room cool

2011-09-26T07:25:00.003-04:00

Doesn't this space feel just right? I love the art display and the slightly cluttered, vintagey whimsy of the styling. Happy Monday!

Via the amazing Jenny Komenda for Babble

Vanessa Knox

2011-09-23T07:19:00.002-04:00

I am positively gasping over the gorgeous new maternity collection from Vanessa Knox. Featuring classic pieces like this trench coat and a range of elegant dresses, I have never seen maternity clothes that are so imminently wearable and yet completely glamorous.

Vanessa herself was kind enough to send me the Floria Dress and Cara Cardigan, and I was floored by every aspect of her designs. From the handsome box they arrived in, to the cut, fit, and fabric, I would list these items as two of my favorite pieces of clothing (maternity or non-maternity) that I own. I can't wait to wear them over and over until the baby arrives and beyond! I'll do an outfit/bump post soon ;)

Meanwhile, I urge you to enter maternity shopping heaven.

Daumier on Breastfeeding

2011-09-22T10:14:00.002-04:00

The Third-Class Carriage, ca. 1862–64

Honoré Daumier (French, 1808–1879)

Oil on canvas

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

fall salad yum

2011-09-22T00:46:00.007-04:00

Doesn't this Endive and Warm Pear Salad with Stilton look sooooooo delicious and perfect for the season? I can't wait to try it.

Via Mark Bittman.

where i'll be thursday night

2011-09-20T19:20:00.003-04:00

Thursday evening there's going to be an opening reception for A Thousand Ships, a show of new works by my superfabulousamazing friend, Samantha Hahn. I am so excited to feast on all the eye candy! If you're in NYC, you should most definitely stop in to Gallery Hanahou between 7-9 pm to check it out for yourself! RSVP to info@galleryhanahou.com

P.S.: I am flattered beyond words that Samantha created a portrait of me for the show, and I can hardly wait to see it in person. Thanks for making me feel like an insanely glamorous superstar, Samantha!

Birth Story of the Week: Tasting Menu or How Luciana was Born

2011-09-20T01:14:00.007-04:00

I was profoundly touched by this story, sent in by Melanie Lora Meltzer, of Figs and Feathers. The incredibly transformative experience of giving birth is so beautifully articulated here. Melanie's strength, perseverance, and openness through a difficult labor should serve as a powerful inspiration to all. Thank you for sharing, Melanie!

--Leigh

I started preparing for Luciana's birth many months ago. Over Thanksgiving, when I was about 7 weeks pregnant, I read Your Best Birth, watched The Business of Being Born, and hired my wonderful doula, Ilona.

By the end of the year, I'd read Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth, interviewed several midwives, and scouted childbirth classes. In January, Sky and I chose our midwife, the extraordinary Debbie Frank ,I'd read more books, was journaling to the baby regularly, had modified my exercise accordingly, etc etc etc. I was a prepared pregnant woman and I loved it. As my pregnancy progressed, and we took our childbirth class with Ana Paula Markel, and I read about labor and imagined it, I became really excited about what it could be like to give birth. Sky and friends would ask me from time to time if I was nervous or scared, and I always said No. I wasn't. I trusted my body and my ability to give birth completely. I trusted our baby; that she (though of course we didn't know she was a she) knew what she was doing. I knew I had an amazing team with Debbie and Ilona, and I took really good care of my body, doing prenatal yoga at Golden Bridge, swimming, walking on the beach, counting protein grams daily...(mamas, remember that?)

Monday

My due date, July 24th, came and went, and I was feeling more Braxton-Hicks contractions each day. On the evening of Monday the 26th I wasn't sure I was in labor when I felt waves of achiness in my lower back. After noticing that they came in intervals of about 10 minutes apart, and knowing that some women feel labor in their backs, I called Debbie. She said it might be a false alarm, and it might be the start of my labor, so I should see how/if it progresses and call her if they get to be 5 minutes apart. I had spoken to Ilona as well, so she knew it was a possibility. Sky came home from work, and we hung out on the couch, excited that this might be the beginning. And it was.

My contractions got closer together and a lot more intense. Sky called Ilona around midnight because I couldn't talk through them and was climbing around over the bed finding positions that might help what I was feeling pass more easily. She headed to our house. We called Debbie as well who thought it sounded like things were progressing enough that she came over too. We had the lights dim in the bedroom, which is where I was when they arrived. I'd pictured myself laboring in the open living room at the front of the house, but found all I wanted was to be in or near my bed. Everything about labor is so vivid: I have snapshots in my head of the exact dimness of the room, the exact song Debbie asked about, exactly how it felt having my head rubbed and my hips pressed.

The night got darker and later and my labor got more and more intense. My contractions were strong, about 6 minutes apart, but I never felt them in my belly--they were always in my back and in the sides of my hips. They were strong enough to the point that I was feeling sick. I was trying to connect to the spiritual part of birth, to remember that this was sacred and profound, but I was so nauseated and lightheaded that it was hard for me to do that. I actually fainted in the bathroom as I was about to throw up and Ilona woke me up as I vomited on the floor. The weird thing was that I wasn't progressing. Usually as contractions get stronger one does. I was dilated to 1 1/2 cm and 70% effaced, and I was still there in the early hours of the morning. Debbie felt, though, that our baby was coming soon--that the 27th would be his/her birthday.

However by 8am contractions has slowed way down--back to 10 minutes apart or so---and were mild enough that I could talk through them. It's not unheard of for labor to stop and start, so Debbie and Ilona went home and we all waited to see when it would start back up in earnest.

Tuesday

Sky and I got a little sleep that morning. I'd wake every 30-60 minutes with a stronger contraction, but most were mild enough that I slept through them. Ilona called her acupuncturist who does house calls. He came over and spent 2 hours doing acupressure and needles on me. Ilona went home. I learned then that if I had to, hard as it might be, I could stay still during a contraction. That would be helpful if I wanted to conserve energy, say, at night. We called Debbie and Ilona again, figured this was it, and they came over. Same thing as Monday. Strong contractions got weaker. I dilated to 2 and didn't go past. That night we slept a little more; I never for more than an hour or so: labor never stopped just got very manageable. Again, this happens: early labor goes on for days with some women. Debbie thought it was a little unusual that I'd have periods of such intensity without progressing into active labor, but we felt my body and the baby were taking their time, and all would go full steam ahead when they were ready.

Wednesday

I got super emotional. Went into the baby's/my meditation room and cried and cried. I was scared I wasn't going to go into real labor; I was confused at what wasn't happening; I felt completely powerless over being able to move things along. I knew pressure on myself would most likely keep it from happening, so I prayed to trust, prayed to be on the ride with no expectations, and tried to give myself a break--I'd been pretty much up for 48 hours. Sky and I went down to the beach for a walk which felt so good as I'd spent so much time there walking during my pregnancy. Labor picked right back up. We liked the thought that the baby liked the ocean; could hear it and sense it, and that the ocean was urging the baby out. I couldn't do the walk and found myself hanging onto benches while Sky went for the car. We said a prayer that this was it. We talked to the baby. I talked to my body. Sent love and ease and asked for safe passage for mama and babe. Debbie was at the hospital with another patient who had just delivered, so she suggested we come there. If I was going into active labor, that made more sense than waiting for her to get to us and all of us to get back to the hospital. Sky grabbed the bags, called Ilona who was actually on her way to us, she turned around so she could meet us at the hospital, and I sat through a very difficult car ride. Cars just suck in labor; no way around it. I should say here, too, that still I felt everything in my back and hips. During a contraction, the pressure there would get so strong it felt like my whole back was spasming and nothing but incredibly strong pressure from Sky or Ilona on my hips would alleviate it even a little. But in between contractions the pressure didn't go away. It lessened, sure, from maybe an 8 to a 6, but I'd counted on having breaks in between contractions and when I was in the strong phases of my labor there were no breaks, and I knew this was tiring me out physically and emotionally. I knew I was going to be drawing on all the reserves I had, but I was glad to do it---that's what I'd expected labor to ask of me.

At the hospital I breathed a huge sigh of relief because I'd progressed to 4. Debbie felt we'd turned a corner. This was it. The baby was on the way. As much as I'd wanted a home birth when Sky and I first talked about what our plan would be, I really liked my room at Cedars and felt totally comfortable there. I had my team, our nurse had worked with Debbie lots before and was a huge advocate of natural childbirth, the room was big and sunny, I could get in and out of the shower. The baby sounded perfect on the monitor--through all of this the hummingbird's heart rate had never faltered. Already I knew I had a strong little being on my hands.

By Wednesday evening, though, I'd been discharged. Once again, everything had slowed down, and I was still at 4. This time before we went home, Debbie sat on the end of my bed and told me that if this pattern continued for another 24 hours, I'd need to seriously consider pitocin to advance the dilation of my cervix. The risk we were starting to face was that my uterus could tire out, and if that happened, and it wasn't able to contract strongly enough to get the baby down, pitocin would be a necessity. However, if it was too tired it wouldn't respond to pitocin, and then I'd be looking at a C-section. I understood, but in the moment it felt devastating. All I wanted was to have my baby completely naturally. I didn't want her drugged, I didn't want to not be able to feel her coming out. I, again, was baffled and humbled and shocked that my body wasn't doing what I was so sure it knew how to do. I felt now I had a timeline. I felt a little ashamed with Sky--like I was letting him down too by not being able to do this. All of this was in my head, but it was enough to have me on edge and easily upset. We went home, I tried to eat, we tried to laugh, I didn't succeed at either, but I had a couple of 2-hour stretches of sleep that night and that did help me feel less wound up in the morning.

Thursday

I emailed Debbie and told her I'd slept. She said that was great news: it didn't sound like I was in labor anymore, which meant I didn't have to worry about a timeline. My body was resting, which was what it needed to do. We'd see this baby when it was ready. By about 10, however, I was in the most excruciating pain in my back that I'd ever felt. It was unrelenting, and I didn't think it was labor. I figured my back was exhausted from the 3 days before, and Sky called my acupuncturist and made an appointment with her. My mom drove me as I groaned the entire drive, and on the table in Dr. Hu's office I could tell that what I was in was the strongest labor I'd been in yet. I could feel contractions in my belly as well as my back. Knowing it was labor gave me a little extra stamina, even though it was painful to the point of more tears. Sky picked me up from the appointment and we drove to Debbie's office where I had my weekly appointment scheduled with her.

I was moving over the couch and floor of her office when she walked in. I don't think I'll ever forget the expression on her face when she asked me if I was in labor--I read it as shock which it could have been since I hadn't called her in what seemed to be the most active phase of labor yet. I moaned, "I don't know; I don't know" and she said I certainly looked like a woman in labor. She checked me--still 4---and suggested I head to the hospital and she'd meet us there. My labor seemed to have kicked into a different gear. Of course we found Ilona, who again would meet us at the Cedars entrance. On the way to the hospital after a particularly loud yell through one contraction my water broke. it's unmistakeable when it happens---a warm gush that keeps gushing. Although I was struggling to feel OK in the car, I was thrilled that it had broken, as it seemed the baby was that much closer, and when a man in an SUV tried to cut us off at our left turn to the hospital, I stared him dead in the eye from the car window, gave him a particular finger, and yelled a name at him I won't print here. He let us go.

At the hospital things felt different. I knew the baby would be born tonight or early Friday morning. I moaned and moved into any position I could think of, Sky and Ilona pushed, massaged and held me, I got in and out of the shower, Debbie checked the baby periodically, and the baby was doing great. I knew we were on our way. But at 5:00pm I was still 4 cm. Debbie advised me to get pitocin for the reasons we'd talked about yesterday. I was crushed. I knew, though, that she was right. At first I said I wanted to do it with no epidural---I so wanted to stay connected to my body during this. About 10 minutes later, though, I had to admit to myself that I was being stubborn about an idea I had. I had reached my limit. It had been almost 72 hours, my body was exhausted, I was in crazy pain in my back that was only going to increase with pitocin and I had a long way to go to get to 10cm. I said I wanted an epidural. Sky told me to wait because I'd made him promise that if I asked for drugs to make me wait. I told him, and I remember feeling meek about it, that I had to get help if I was going to get pitocin. Again, I was ashamed, I was so sad, I was humbled in a way I didn't want to be humbled. This was not going according to the beautiful plan I'd written out--not at all. This was not my idea of myself in labor---not at all.

The next 7 hours were one long half-dream. I wanted to curl up inside of myself when I was given the anaesthesia. I didn't want to be me. I didn't want to be here. I was worried about my baby and the effects drugs would have on her. Debbie told me how important it was to rest. So until 2 am I lay in the hospital bed, Sky lay sometimes on the couch and sometimes in bed with me. Ilona went home, Debbie would come in and out. Day turned to night; I half slept here and there. I rested my hands on my belly and I prayed. Prayed that the baby be OK. Prayed that my body open up, visualized it opening like a rose, like the ocean, prayed for the willingness to accept what was going on with an open heart, prayed to surrender ideas I had about what was right. Listened to one of my favorite mantras --Ra Ma Da Sa --over and over (sung by Mirabai Ceiba and if I could play it here I would. It's a beautiful beautiful mantra for healing). I play that mantra for Luciana now when I am helping her get to sleep---it works like magic on her---and it's only in the last day that I can listen without crying. It takes me back to lying in that semi-darkness, talking to Debbie and Sky now and then, waiting and silently begging that my body see this through.

Friday

At 2am I knew by Debbie's face when she checked me that I hadn't changed. So we had the discussion I never thought I'd have. My only option left was to have a C-section. I can't even say that I started crying here. I'd been one continuous leak for hours, sometimes turned up and sometimes turned down. I process lots through crying, and I don't want to give the impression I was weeping through this whole thing out of sadness or hopelessness, but there simply were lots of tears. This journey was requiring me to use every ounce of strength I had physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was being humbled beyond humble, the thing-that-was-never-going-to-happen was happening. Sky and I asked for a few moments of privacy and decided we wanted to try with the pitocin for a couple more hours. Debbie had Oked that. If nothing changed by 4am I'd have the surgery. We prayed, manifested, visualized, hugged each other, talked to the baby, and I tried to quiet my soul. At 4 Debbie came in. I honestly didn't expect it to have changed---I'll say that. I think I had to go to that place so I could prepare myself for what might be happening next. I was still 4cm. She had called my back-up doctor, who I really liked, which is a blessing, and at 4:30, after 9 hours of more pitocin than Debbie said she'd given anyone ever, I was shaved to be ready for surgery and wheeled into the OR.

If one is planning on having a C-section, or if one has to have one as a last-minute surprise, I hope you get a team as lovely as the one I had. Everyone was so kind; the anaesthesiologist was so attentive, Sky and Debbie were with me. The lights in the OR were so bright after all the time I'd spent in low-lit rooms. I had a moment of being sure I was dreaming, that I would be awake any second. The hormones from laboring plus the anaesthesia had me shaking uncontrollably on the table. Debbie kept her hands on my shoulders and my head, and I'd reach up and hold her hand when I needed to. I was trying so hard not to cry. I was numbed, the drape was up, they said I'd feel a pushing and pressure when they were going in to get her; I sent light and grace with my thoughts to the doctors, I felt what they said I'd feel, and at 5:12 am on July 29 our baby was born. The doctors asked Sky if he wanted to "call the baby". He stood up and told me it was a girl. That I'd gotten my girl. I need not tell you that I....cried. Or whimpered. Or something. I had my girl. My beautiful, Sky told me, little girl. I heard her cry; I couldn't hold her right away-- with a C-section they need to suction her immediately. But I could hear that cry that every once in a while she makes here in the house. I think I could pick it out from 10,000 babies' cries. I knew Sky was with her, I knew she had his love around her. I told Debbie to tell him to tell our daughter that everything was OK. It was probably only a few minutes, but nothing I know has felt longer, til I could see her. If half an hour before I'd been sure I was dreaming, now I was awake into a different reality. My baby had been born, and I was waiting desperately to see her.

The doctors told me what had caused the crazy ride this had been: her little head had turned ever so slightly and gotten wedged in my pelvis. No amount of pressure from my faithful uterus was moving her. The angle was slight enough that even in the ultrasound Debbie did on Thursday it was undetectable. But there was no way she would have come out through my pelvis.

Sky brought her to me and lay us cheek to cheek. My hands were still shaking so much I couldn't touch her. All I wanted to do was touch her. I could see her little face, my baby's little face. My hummingbird was of this world now. It's true what they all say: there is nothing like the love you feel for your baby when you hear her, see her, feel her. The doctors finished sewing me up and they rolled me (literally) off the table onto the bed I'd recover in for a couple of hours. Then they gave her to me. I had my girl in my arms, wrapped up like the gift she is. I didn't get my instant skin-to-skin contact, she hadn't fed in her first 5 minutes of life, but she was OK and I was OK and we were starting our life together.

As soon as we were in the recovery room we unwrapped her, placed her on my chest, and she started to nurse. We make sure we spend at least an hour each day lying tummy to tummy no clothes on, and that might be my favorite hour of the day. Because I'd had a C, we were in the hospital until Monday. I'd heard the nurses at Cedars were wonderful, and it was true. As much as I wouldn't have wished for several days in the hospital, there was something magical about being in that cocoon. Our families came by, a couple of friends, I told this story a couple of times and cried through every telling. That's just me. And a lot of postpartum hormones. Other than those few visits, and the frequent check-ups by the nurses, Sky and Luciana and I holed up and we fell more and more in love with her. We hope she's half as much in love with us.

Now we've been home for 2 weeks. Unbelieveable. I've been asked by different friends what happened in our birth, and each time I tell the story I still cry. But it's not because I'm sad about it or have regrets about it. It happened how it happened. Not at all what I planned, and someday I know it will all make sense to me. I get emotional more because it was simply the biggest thing I've ever gone through. I knew having a baby would be. I knew it would change me; I knew it would ask me to go to places I didn't even know I had in me to go to. I just thought the map and the roadside attractions would be very different. Rather than the triumphant warrior goddess breathing her baby out, I was a trembling, teary woman brought to her knees. And that, in its way, is another kind of bravery and another kind of goddess, to have the willingness to be present for something as challenging as it was, and I know that. In a way, I feel this birth required me to be stronger than had I had the one I envisioned. I get to thank myself and thank Luciana for being able enough to undergo 86 hours of labor and a major surgery. At one week post-op I was going on hour-long walks with little discomfort, and Luciana has been thriving. And she does not feel less loved or bonded to for having been airlifted instead of squeezed through the birth canal. It's still a bit surreal to me: I have many moments where I can't wrap my head around the fact that I had a C-section, but I did. What a flesh-and-blood experience of life not going according to my plan.

I joke that I'm someone who always wants to try everything on the menu, and I did that with birth. I labored naturally at home, in 2 offices, on the beach, in the car and in the hospital. I labored with pitocin and an epidural. And ultimately I tried a C-Section. I know what every kind of labor feels like now:) And I know, too, from firsthand experience, that a C-section is still a birth. It is a powerful, brave thing that a woman does to bring her baby into the world. It can be sacred and holy and just right for that child. I also know that while this felt huge to me, and was huge, I have a beautiful healthy baby and I am healthy and here for her. And I am so so so so so lucky and grateful that this is so. Luciana came into the world with her arms wide open, ready to embrace every part of it. I already feel the world is doing that back to her.

hair DO?

2011-09-19T14:00:00.004-04:00

Photos via Pintrest

I haven't dyed my hair in years, and I actually really dig the idea of not fighting the grey, but I have to say that the ombre hair trend has really captured my attention. I especially love these brunette-fading to blonde versions, and I feel like it would offer a laid-back, easy-to-maintain (or grow out/cut), approach to color. Not to mention I think it looks so sexy and chic. What do you think? Would you consider rocking ombre or dip-dyed hair?

room pretty

2011-09-19T07:42:00.003-04:00

Happy monday, dolls. I hope you had a lovely weekend.

Isn't this room divine?

From C Magazine, Via Happenstance.

Arrietty

2011-09-16T07:07:00.001-04:00

As a kid, one of my favorite chapter books was The Borrowers by Mary Norton. I'm reading it to Jackson now, and he is as obsessed with it as I am newly charmed by it. It is such a vividly-told, exciting tale featuring a gutsy, powerful young girl as its protagonist. Have you read it?

I cannot tell you how delighted I was to learn recently that the story has been adapted into an animated film by the amazing Hayao Miyazaki (creator of two of our favorite movies of all time, Ponyo and My Neighbor Totoro)! Arrietty is slated for a February 2012 release here in the US. The cast of voices is amazing too; it includes Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Saoirse Ronan and Carol Burnett.

Here's the trailer for the UK version, which was released earlier this Summer: