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| Dionna Ford and her kids, ages 4 years and 5 months. Photo by Martin Schoeller for TIME |
I haven't read the TIME Magazine cover story yet, but I have seen the photos, read the headlines, and delved into a small portion of the debate that is raging online. My email inbox might explode. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the whole thing, but I want to refrain from getting too deeply into it until I've had a chance to read the whole story for myself.
For now, I'll just say: I love this photo. I love that biologically normal practices like breastfeeding, babywearing, and cosleeping have gained enough of a foothold in our society that they warrant a cover story in TIME. I love that people are talking and discussing these issues in such a mainstream forum.
Meanwhile (coincidentally) two days ago I started a Pinboard onto which I've placed every example of breastfeeding art I've ever posted on Marvelous Kiddo, as well as a bunch of additional images of the subject I've been collecting (UPDATE, Friday 2:20 pm: Weirdly, a bunch of the pins are missing today. I am working with Pinterest tech support to get them back up). Check it out for a little perspective, and a reminder that moms have been "mom enough" to breastfeed their babies and kids for, like, all of human history, duh. "Extended" breastfeeding was not invented by Dr. Sears or a bunch of over-competitive helicopter moms (do those moms even exist? Seriously, I think it's a fictional variety invented by a media eager to sell magazines and bait controversy while playing on people's fears and insecurities).
What are your thoughts about the TIME article and subsequent bruhaha?
That is a lovely photo! I'm eager to read that article.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping to inquire with you about your advertising rates, but I can't seem to find an email address to contact you through... would you mind directing me to it? Thanks so much, Leigh!
I would love to hear from you, Jenny. Email me: leigh(at)leighpennebaker(dot)com
Deletethe outrage over the photos and the entire concept of attachment parenting makes my blood boil. ESPECIALLY when someone asserts that breastfeeding past infancy is 'inappropriate', 'disgusting', or 'child abuse'. clearly these folks haven't seen what actual child abuse looks like.
ReplyDeletei haven't read the magazine yet. i wanted to say.... DUH! you are correct. lol women have been breastfeeding for, well forever until recently.
ReplyDelete@17beats: YES! right?! how can cuddling and nursing a baby even be seen as abuse? i think it is because we are so over sexualized that any intimacy MUST lead to sex. it is sad really, so many people missing out on such an amazing experience.
i am amazed at the thinking that at day 366 the milk suddenly goes from GREAT to evil just because the baby turned one.
i hope the pieces in the magazine are balanced, but i think they probably are not and it would be wonderful if the comments were loving and supportive, but again my guess is that they will be completely uninformed and pretty ugly and hateful.
My comment here is also just about the photos since I haven't read the story. I second "17 beats'" comment. I'm mostly enraged by the ignorant reactions. I'm glad you see this through such a positive lens - I've been feeling kind of wretched because it's when I read the comments that I realize how far we still need to go in normalizing breastfeeding (particularly extended breastfeeding) in our society. I fear that this Time photo (specifically, the cover photo) has incensed many people to the point that their intolerance will actually grow rather than simmer. (I think intolerance for bf has been simmering for some years now... this may turn that.). I'm angry that Time used that particular cover photo with that particular headline. Headlines like that really piss people off and Time knew it. Time knew exactly what they were doing. It certainly isn't Time's job to advocate for this movement (or work against it), but I do feel they sensationalized the issue by doing it the way they did. Afterall, there is so much more to A.P. than bf, no? I liked the *other* photos however... capture bf in way that makes sense to me. (It's not that a kiddo has never nurse in that position, it's just that it's *so* out of context in that photo.) I like when stories like this are portrayed honestly: how it really looks in real life, in natural settings. I'm all about child-led weaning - my 4-yr-old weaned recently. I would rather see how the NY Times (or the like) tackles this story. Then everyone would have a more honest peek into what life as an "AP" family looks/feels like.
ReplyDeleteRach, I fully agree with your sentiments. I agree that breastfeeding mothers should be portrayed by mainstream media to make breastfeeding (especially toddlers) less taboo. However, I think the cover of Time magazine is doing just the opposite of that. They are purposely making breastfeeding look sensationalized, in order to sell magazines. They are not advocating breastfeeding. They are perpetuating the unfortunate belief that breastfeeding older children is unnatural and somehow provocative. There sales must be down, because it looks to me like they are really trying to stir the pot with this, although on the bright side hopefully some intelligent discussion can be the result.
ReplyDeleteHomeslice - exactly. Time magazine did not portray this in a natural/in-context manner. I would trust a publication like the NY Times to do that and I wish that is how it was done.
DeleteMy mum breastfed me until i was 2 and my sister until she was 4. She said she always intended to stop when we'd had enough as that was the best guide. Interestingly though she only did it at home and my dad thought it was weird. One of those subjects that seems to warrant strong opinions. Personally I think it's down to the individual to decide...
ReplyDeleteI persoanlly don't want to read the article at all. I love the pictures I have seen so far, mainly because I nursed my daughter into toddlerhood, however I am very skeptical of the media putting their spin on AP parents. I did what felt right for my daughter and I before I even knew what Attachment parenting was. I ended up reading a Dr. Sears book I picked up at a used book store and it comforted me to know that I was not the only one who decided to raise my family this way. Comforting only because MY own family was taken aback by my parenting choices. Baby wearing, co sleeping and breastfeeding may not be mainstream but the negative attention is ridiculous! How can their be a right way to love your children. Listen to your heart people, it will tell you what your kids need. Not some book or magazine.....
DeleteI thought this was a terrific response: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/no-i-am-not-mom-enough_b_1507550.html
ReplyDeletethis was a great response, thanks for the link!
Deletefirst, i'm not a mommy (hopefully, yet), and second, i haven't yet read the article. i'm not sure if i will. but i have read the reaction and commentary via social media (fb, twitter, blogs, etc.). i've engaged in some thoughtful discussion with both male and female friends.
ReplyDeletei think the hullabaloo falls under what one of my friends has coined as the, "mommy wars". as for Time, the cover and photos are doing exactly what Time and their marketing team hoped they would do, draw massive attention.
but the dialogue, much of what i've read anyway and heard, is so negative. there are so many ways to embrace motherhood and every mother goes on her own path. i wish as women, we wouldn't attack one another. we wouldn't judge each other and hurt each other slinging harsh words back and forth.
motherhood is no easy journey. at a time when we as a nation (i'm in the states) are gearing up to celebrate mothers, i hope we can stop arguing over who does it better.
btw - if (nay, when) i'm so blessed as to become a mother one day, i'm totally drawn to attachment parenting and plan to go with the flow. my mom said she didn't plan a time to stop, but just sort of came reached a stop either physically by not producing anymore milk or just having kids who started liking other foods more...
I love the photos too...although I wish they would have added more skin color....
ReplyDeleteThe cover is to sell, they do this with all their headlines.
I respect any type of mothering as long as there is love. That said, extended breastfeeding, baby wearing and co sleeping has worked for our family. I don't any way consider Dr. Sears my guru, like you said this kind of parenting has been going along for a lot longer than Dr. Sears.
The mommy wars thing....why even go there. We are all mom enough to love our children. Period. It's up to each one of us to decide how to raise our children.
Really respect the mothers who took part in this photo shoot.
Yay! For extended breastfeeding!
I am looking forward to reading the whole article and then say more thoughts....
I also wish some mothers of color had been included.
DeleteI see a common theme in your Pinboard photos - these are all BABIES being breastfed. Natural, biologically normal practices in all mammals. No pictures of toddlers, wonder why...
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother yet (working on it;) nor have I read the article. However, I am a HUGE advocate of breast feeding and am always shocked at the people who view it as something other than what it is. To sum it up, I'm disturbed by the disturbed reactions to the cover.
ReplyDelete"Attachment parenting," though not referred to as such since it is just the norm, is the cultural norm in many other cultures including the one in which I was raised. The photos in TIME are beautiful. I have loved seeing this 'parenting style' hit the mainstream here in the States in recent years. The outrage over the cover is just so wacky to me. It's a beautiful image of a mother breastfeeding her child. What's the big deal? Thank you for being an advocate!
ReplyDeleteThe cover photo is beautiful, I love it. Bought the issue to read but feel the article doesn't dive deeply enough into the subject. I hate the term "attachment parenting" for its negative connotations. Why can't I be a loving mother who is bringing up her baby in a healthy and nurturing environment rather than being deemed "attached" to my child? Looking forward to reading your thoughts as you were the first person I thought of when I heard about the piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm sixteen years old and I was nursed by my loving mom way longer than most people, but it was the most amazing experience I will ever have in my life. It brought me closer to my mom and I will always treasure my memories of breast feeding. It wasn't just a food source for me, it was calming and comforting. I see nothing "wrong" or "disturbing" with this image. All I see is a loving mother feeding and nurturing her child. Personally, I can't understand why anyone who was breast fed or breast fed their own child should find this image upsetting. I am more disturbed flipping through a Victoria's Secret magazine! There are bigger and more upsetting things in this world than a mother feeding her child and Jamie Lynne Grumet should be proud! I plan on breasfeeding my children and teaching them to be proud of it because it is the most natural thing you can possibly do!
ReplyDeleteI adore you blog and your kiddos are gorgeous and so are you! I love reading about your life and you constantly inspire me!
You can check out my blog at http://vintagerosegirl95.blogspot.com/ and the blog that my sister and I write at http://oneinchapart.wordpress.com/ - we would love to hear what you think!
It breaks my heart that the mother photographed on the cover of Time is portrayed as thin, young, and perfect; it's not unintentional that she is dressed in skinny jeans and a revealing shirt or that the child is dressed in such a way (and positioned in such a way) that he seems unmatched to the mother. The image does not look natural, and I don't think that the image celebrates motherhood or breastfeeding; it's yet another situation in which a woman's body is put on display in order to be objectified, this time with an additional layer of controversy.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read the article.
ReplyDeleteBut the reactions make me feel so frustrated. I suppose it's great that the question is being raised - perhaps it will make more mother's who choose not to breastfeed consider their decision.
It frustrates me that we do not see breastfeeding as a norm and that we question the decision to STOP. Because it is a NATURAL BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION of our bodies, so our decision to stop should be what's discussed, not our decision to continue.
All women menstruate, but some choose to take a pill to suppress this. Do we question the women who 'choose' to menstruate? No. Because it is a normal biological function. This opinion piece says it better than me: http://thefeministbreeder.com/if-breastfeeding-were-simply-a-lifestyle-choice-anyone-could-choose-it/
If the image seems 'extreme' to some, perhaps that is just the sad reality of our society today. If we saw an African tribal woman feeding her 3 year old we'd just assume it was part of their culture. For some reason we have a different view for our own children.
Anyway - I love your blog and your images and your thoughts.
My thought when seeing this photo, was "Oh isn't that sweet how the older sibling has his arm around his little sibling - how precious!". (my second thought was: Gee, I wish my breasts were still that perky LOL!). I have a lovely photo (albeit a bit blurry) of my daughter (not yet three at the time) breastfeeding alongside my newborn at the time with her arm outstretched, cuddling him. It is such a beautiful image for me. I didn't feed them together at every feed, but fed her until she was well over 3.5 years and my youngest son (who is 20 months) continues to feed and will feed him until he decides (or perhaps I decide) to wean.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, I was selling raffle tickets today for my local breastfeeding group and an older woman purchased some and then started to discuss this particular photo, which I hadn't yet seen. She thought it very inappropriate, yet she "was all for breastfeeding, but I wouldn't go that far"! I pointed out very gently that people might not find it so alarming if it were say an image of a woman from a tribe in Africa co-feeding her children and if that image appeared on the front of say the National Geographic. For some reason we don't see this as a valid way to feed and parent in western culture - yet most of us are happy to drink another specie's milk well beyond the age of our own weaning!! The irony of it!!
I'm looking forward to your thoughts once you read the full article! I have mixed feelings on the article- is this really the best way to shift our society's attitude toward breastfeeding? I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteVeralynn
joiedeveralynn.blogspot.com
I read the article and was annoyed by both it, and the sensational cover. If anything, I parent the way I do b/c I try to be the opposite of a helicopter mom. I want as much peace as I can get, and parenting this way allows for that, especially during the first year. I brought my baby into bed, bf, and practiced baby wearing b/c it felt right, not to keep up with the Sears' and sanctimommies. I've said time and time again that I think there are many more families who practice co-sleeping and extended nursing than we think, but b/c they are possibly embarrassed by "still nursing your baby/sleeping with your kid??", no one talks about it. My brother said something about the cover to me, and he didn't realize one of my kiddos nursed till 3 1/2. I didn't hide it, but really, at that age, most kids are not nursing enough for the world at large to be aware.
ReplyDeleteAttachment parenting and extended breastfeeding aren't the problem....the sexualized, unnatural, confrontational photos and naive/ignorant presentation of the information is the problem! i personally worked at time magazine and it was a very sexist environment so i see where this is coming from in a sense. however i think the young female author of the article (who must not have children yet!) will regret her part in this when she learns from her own experiences. her article is more informed by society's cliches (dr. sears "invented" cosleeping, etc.) it's a very very low blow from time magazine. sorry they went to this level in order to sell copies. the woman on the cover may think she is some kind of warrior but by posing in such an unnatural way she is really making herself a victim. she should have demanded that the photo be a more natural representation of nursing and the essentially private relationship it represents.
ReplyDeleteI agree it was a naive/ignorant presentation!! I like it put that way.
DeleteI love your readers!!!!
ReplyDeleteHonestly I only read excerpts because I was a little put off by the fact that the title of the article pits moms against moms. As if people aren't already judgmental enough already of parenting practices. I feel it was a bit of a media stunt to sell copies (I've decided not to buy one) -- I'm very comfortable with the choices I made and will continue to make and I'm not too interested in reading what the critics have to say. I know, I know Elisabeth Badinter says breastfeeding enslaves women...well if that's slavery, I absolutely adore it. It was right for me and my child. Formula and bottles were not. Am I superwoman? Nope. I'm just a mom entranced by my child and the little one now kicking in my womb, and these are the best years of my life so far. I think like many parents who end up "attachment parenting" - I followed my instinct and THEN found out this style of parenting had a following and books and gurus. And I do appreciate the wisdom and advice of Dr. Sears. But I just never needed or need to necessarily put a name to it all.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way!
DeleteI just found your blog bia Che and Fidel. I'm sorry to hear that you will blog no longer, but thought I would give you a link of two of my favourite breastfeeding art pieces. Both are by Paul Helleu. Enjoy! http://pinterest.com/pin/33003009739837150/ and http://pinterest.com/pin/33003009739830254/
ReplyDelete