I love that Licia Ronzulli has been taking her daughter, Victoria, to sessions of the European Parliament since she was just one month old:
Way to multitask, mama. Now if more employers could just see the benefits of creating a mother/baby/family-friendly work atmosphere. We'd all be better for it.On a similar theme, this amazing essay about fighting an uphill battle to pump at work really struck a chord with me. I am as infuriated by the anti-mother climate it describes as I am inspired by author Lynn Messina's story of asserting her right to pump at work.
Have you ever struggled to balance motherhood and career? Have you felt the deck stacked against you because of a lack of support in the workplace? Have your career choices been limited or affected by your desire to get pregnant or breastfeed? What are your dreams, wishes, or desires for more mother/baby friendly policies?
Photos via The Daily Mail.
I work east coast hours but work on the west so am waking up at 330am to go to work. When I was pumping I woke up at 3am. Despite the ridiculous hours I'm grateful for the support I've gotten from my team of all men to do all the things I need to breastfeed. I hear stories from my girlfriends who are teachers about how little time they have and no where to pump...and feel shocked at the lack of support. Those pics are awesome!! There wasn't a day back when Zoe was little that I didn't wish I could wear her to work. haha.
ReplyDeleteI pumped for the first 8 months of my son's life, while working full-time. There was not empty office, so I pumped twice a day in an executive bathroom. It was hard, and I was really shy about it at first. But then I started to realize that, if anything, I should feel tremendous pride that I was giving my son the best start I could. And because of that, no one gave a hard time. In fact, I think some admired me for my determination.
ReplyDeletewow this is so amazing, how inspiring, it makes me want to move to europe right now!
ReplyDeleteGo for it.
DeleteLeigh- Do you have any good resources on the benefits of creating a mother/baby work environment?
ReplyDeleteCheck this website out, I think they have some helpful resources: http://www.parentingatwork.org/index.html
DeleteThis article also brings up some interesting points and statistics: http://mothering.com/breastfeeding/you-can-breastfeed-by-e-mail-and-other-myths-of-the-american-workplace
DeleteThank you!
Deletethis is so apropos of my life at the moment. i am pumping at work, my office was v accomadting and gave me a fridge. i just shut the door and get on with my business twice a day. no biggie. i also work part time now, so i have to say it has worked out for me. but not without funny incidents like running from an all day client session to go pump and then literally running back. all worth it.
ReplyDeleteLove the essay, thank you for sharing! I am a PhD student and I do mostly basic science in a lab at a university hospital research facility. I resumed classes a week after the (c-section) birth of my son. I nursed him in the back of the classroom under a nursing cover while my professors discussed grant writing and research methods. In the early weeks he slept and nursed. He was never better than in a quiet classroom snuggled close to his mama.
ReplyDeleteWhen my baby was 3 months old I returned to the lab 3 days per week and pumped 3 times a day in the lactation room one floor above my cubicle where the breast cancer research team had set up a private office (with an online sign-up form) using grant funding. The only awkwardness I experienced was related to the lab group whose cubicles were just outside the office door - it was mostly young men who would look up as I slipped in with my bag of supplies. I must have had a big letter L slapped on my forehead. It was certainly written in plain letters outside the door - "Lactation Room" - couldn't they have just put the lovely breastfeeding icon on the door or something? The word lactation feels so cow-ish or something.
I finally went back to full-time lab work when my baby was 8 months. Pumping 5 days per week is a major PITA. For me it meant stepping out from what I was doing every 3 hours to be sure I was able to produce enough for my son. That was the most difficult semester of my life, but I was determined to give him what he deserved (my milk) for at least an entire year. I did have to go to a conference at one point and was able to get 4 days of donor breast-milk to sustain my baby while I was away (and pumping). The conference even had lactation rooms (although I used my hotel room instead).
I am grateful for the professional support I have received in the past year (my son is now 13 months), but mothering the way that I believe is right for my family has not been easy. I am wary of adding to our family for several years because of how much stress it brought on us, a working couple. At the same time, I don't know that anything will change in the years to come. Perhaps I will find an academic position in Canada, Australia or the UK and no one will blink an eye at a year-long maternity leave.
Since I got married about two years ago, my boss has made several comments stating that I should wait to have a baby. I think he is afraid that they may lose me to the "motherhood" once I do get pregnant. However, I work from home and have kept this job for that very reason, despite the fact that I could probably earn more if i went elsewhere. For now, my plan is to keep working from home (I'm a writer) after having my (future) baby. Hopefully they see it the same way! Woman CAN have a life of their own outside of their children. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of studies that say multitasking is a bad idea because you do two of more things poorly at the same time. I am not trying to judge mothers who want to work but I think its unfair to the employer and the child to do both at the exact same time. Pick what you want to do and focus on it.
ReplyDeleteI think if you decide to have kids, you need to decide whether you want to be with them or leave them to the care of another. Taking care of a child is a full time job. Essentially this woman is working two jobs at the same time and "daylighting" with taxpayers money.
Of course there is "lack of support in the workplace" - the same as if I were a lawyer who also wanted to be a concert pianist at the same time and in the same office. Both wonderful professions but with very different and conflicting demands.
Bottom line - you are going to run into problems when you sign up for two full time jobs. It is not society's fault. It is not the employer's fault. It is no one's fault.
If you are not trying to judge women- don't. This seems like you are.
DeleteI was blown away by the book 'the Continuum Concept' when I read it last year (even though I don't have children) and these pictures seem so right after reading that book.
ReplyDeleteWe're looking to start a family soon and I do *not* keep banker's hours. (I'm not sure what an 8a - 5p day with an hour lunch would look like.) In fact, I'm not sure how it will be done, but I'm confident that it can be done. Lack of support, or no, I'm going to do it anyway.
ReplyDeleteNo one gets through any day without "multi-tasking" or prioritizing things that need to be done. Will having children make me a bad professional or a bad mother or both? I've heard the arguments from both sides (everywhere from "you are going to destroy your children's lives" to "you are going to waste all that education"). Yet it seems that the women who are *doing it* quietly continue on.
It's such a vexing question. I haven't had children because I just don't think I can juggle it all. I see so many working mothers in a constant state of stress from managing the demands of their jobs and the demands (however delightful they can be) of parenthood. They constantly feel torn. New York is particularly bad - everything is a competitive blood sport. The only conclusion I've reached as an outsider is that the happiest mothers work for themselves - or not at all. It doesn't bode well for the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteThis is in reply to anonymous: France's middle class women go back to work. Their country doesn't seem to be having a crisis of children gone crazy due to that fact. The mothers are able to balance the workload, whether via daycare, the father taking on caregiver role, or another family member. My mother and father worked full time and I was at a daycare. I was not destroyed by it. Rather, I: learned to get along with others, play nice, share, see other cultures, and develop my language skills. No loss. My mother got to be a woman who has a good job that fulfills her and her daughter got to look up to a grown professional woman who was respected for her brains. She also got to be mommy after work and on weekends, and both roles fulfilled her. Our house was immaculate, we ate well balanced meals, and the bills were paid.
ReplyDeleteI feel the balance keeps getting harder because between the internet and cell phones, work never stops. It so much harder to carve out sanctioned time with family than it used to be - everyone wants things NOW, even if now is Sunday afternoon. That coupled with potential layoffs and a flagging economy create less than ideal work situations for so many parents, including fathers. I stay home with my son for now, and take occasional freelance jobs from home, but I see my husband struggle with this all the time.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to point out that even working moms who leave their children for the day still have "two full time jobs." You don't stop being a mom because you've left for the day.
I have always been able to be home with my kids for the most part, so I feel less than qualified to comment on this. My first thought is that it is totally a win for moms and babies everywhere that this kind of thing can happen. But I can not help but wonder if a distracted-by-work mom is really not the kind of caregiver a child really deserves. I think it is fine when the baby is napping and snuggling in a sling but what about when they are older and should be exploring and learning and playing with their own hands and feet. Should they really spend their developing years closed up in a workplace that most adults would rather not be in? Bottom line- kids should NOT have to wake up and go to work every day!
ReplyDeletei am a physician and i had to go back and finish training when my daughter was 7 months until 10 months...then i took 14 glorious months off to be a full time mama while my husband was training in australia. when she was aged 2-3 we lived in the states, both training and i sort of felt like i missed out on her growing up that year, it was brutal. i spent a year training in a less sexy medicine profession (geriatrics) because i knew it was one of the few internal medicine jobs in canada i could work part time. I just had our second child, and after i take my year long mat leave here in canada i am going back to 3 days a week, and i now wish i only had to work 2 days.
ReplyDeletenot to bash the usa, but i really found that people work hard(er) and family is not as much a priority as in canada...i would get funny looks if i said i had to leave to pick my daughter up from child care. and canada is nowhere near as family orientated as australia: i met people where it was not uncommon for dads to take an entire year of paternity leave after the moms had taken a year off, or parents to only work 4 days a week (so each parent was home one day a week with the kids and then the kids would only be in child care max 3 days a week).
Licia Ronzulli has taken little Vittoria to work, yes, but she has faced many many difficulties and many many critics!!!People even laugh and said she shouldn't keep her place at the Parlamento!
ReplyDeleteWhat an inspiration! Babies are rather far away from me at this point in my life but the questions surrounding working motherhood still vex me. It doesn't help that I work in a male-dominated field, adding to my worries that I will be looked down on for taking time off. Plus my mother was a stay-at-home mom until I was 7 and my sister was 10, so I don't have a role model when it comes to being a working mother to young children.
ReplyDeleteI had a huge struggle with pumping and my career. I am a teacher and I don't get to choose when I have a break. The months I was pumping for my daughter neither my prep nor my lunch break was early enough for the first pumping session and they sure were not going to have another teacher take over my class so I could pump. My milk dried up rather quickly since I could not pump often enough, it was frustrating. I also did not have a place to go to pump where other teachers were not coming and going, so I tried to use my room (lights off, door locked, me hiding around the corner from my door with window). I have moved rooms since and I have NO idea how I will manage pumping the next time around. :(
ReplyDeleteWhen my baby was 3 months old I returned to the lab 3 days per week and pumped 3 times a day in the lactation room one floor above my cubicle where the breast cancer research team had set up a private office (with an online sign-up form) using grant funding. The only awkwardness I experienced was related to the lab group whose cubicles were just outside the office door - it was mostly young men who would look up as I slipped in with my bag of supplies. I must have had a big letter L slapped on my forehead. It was certainly written in plain letters outside the door - "Lactation Room" - couldn't they have just put the lovely breastfeeding icon on the door or something? The word lactation feels so cow-ish or something.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the essay I feel grateful to be a mommy in Canada. I'm currently in month two of a full year of maternity leave and breastfeeding my second child. I also took a year off with my first child - who I had to pump for initially because she was born premature. That experience made me determined to never use a pump again, if I could help it. I felt like a cow locked up in a stall on an automated dairy farm.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit, that even though my employer is very family friendly it's still awkward for women who choose to continue to pump following their year of maternity leave. They have to face the "oh my god she's still breastfeeding her child?" crowd. Where I live it's not uncommon for mom's to nurse their kids until they're two.
This subject is what I think about almost all the time! I just wrote about it on my personal blog (babyswandobrand.blogspot.com). As a full time worker and a full time mother (agreed-- we are still mothers all day even if we work!) I try to be secure in my choices, but it is hard to not doubt yourself regularly, especially with comments like Anonymous' above. As far as pumping at work is concerned-- my daughter just turned one and I will be slowly giving up the station in our staff bathroom (a desk and chair that people sometimes ask about-- my alternate office!). I will not miss that part-- but it has been worth it.
ReplyDeleteOh, such a great topic. I was fortunate enough to have almost 6 months off before I went back to work. Pumping at work was miserable. I had my own office, so I could have the privacy but like most women who breastfeed and pump at work it was just so much to DO,DO,DO! I really think that is why a lot of working women quit breastfeeding before they really want to. It's so challenging to get it all done and even if you have a supportive employer, you are the gal leaving a meeting or a client to go pump...grab all your crap and come back in the middle of the discussion or in my case, leave a crisis situation. I think the real issue is our lack of maternity leave. If we had paid time off (NOT FMLA, but a REAL maternity leave as other countries do) then families would be able to slow down and do what they feel is best for our children. I am not surprised at all that women give up on breastfeeding with all the demands placed on them.
ReplyDeleteAs for taking your small child to parliament? Before judging her for it, I think we consider what the baby gets from it. She gets closeness with her mom and she gets to see her mom being a kick-ass strong willed smarty pants. Something tells me that is not a bad thing. As a working mom, when there are days that demand too much of my time, I would love for my son to come in for just a while and be with me.
Best,
Tina
Wow- very cool! I am a self-employed Canadian....therefore NO Ei/maternity leave! I went back to work when my baby was 9 weeks old! I only work 7am-12 noon and I book a 30min break to pump. My son turns 1 next week and he has been 100% breastfed! I still pump at work even though he now hates the bottle, I will add the BM to homo milk when we start that transition. I guess it does have its awkward moments at work but at this point I don't care, I have a private space for pumping and having the BM (liquid gold!) is so worth it.
ReplyDeletenicole
This is so awesome! The world needs more workplaces like these :)
ReplyDeleteOh! I remember seeing the original photo and LOVING it. How cool is it that she is still bringing her toddler with her? Three cheers for family-friendly workplaces like that.
ReplyDeletestephanie@metropolitanmama.net
I have always wanted to be a mom. I have always said that if I don't meet a man, I will find a way to have a child, even if it is on my own. I am a young professional working in an executive position. I have grown up around children, with a very strong mother and female role model in my life. I have to admit though, that if I were working with this woman I would be so distracted and irritated with her decision to bring her child.
ReplyDeleteI think it is worth considering that it is only woman bringing one child to parliament. what is every woman started to do it? I think it is fair to say that many more distractions would occur.
I am a firm believer in women's rights and I would always fight for and provide women in my office with the support that they needed but I don't think bringing your child to work is appropriate. I had an employee once who was training a new employee and started breast feeding her child out in the open with several other staff members present. It made many people uncomfortable and the woman being trained did not feel like she had undivided attention. If it had of continued, I know I would have had to address it and asked my former employee to breastfeed in another private space in our office.
Hey I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading your blog. You have good views, Keep up the good informative info. thnks
ReplyDeleteaveling training
Rio Tintio safety training
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteImagine that all our position, man, woman, allow us to take care of our children and in the same time being efficient at work... a dream ... I have made the wrong business choice, I needed to become a European deputy (and well paid), BTW, beyond this beautiful picture, how many hours spend these young children at these sessions instead playing in an adapted environment? Also, FYI, this European deputy is using her own child for a political message and to become famous this way (it works)...there is a creche (day care/nurser) run by the European Parliament for all children, even a elementary school for European parliament workers and deputies (almost free!); but for sure, we need to provide an adapted local and be flexible to allow all mother to pump at work. In the European Parliament they can leave and come back whenever they want. If they need to vote, they can give their voice to an other deputy...
ReplyDelete